Speak Up

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Too Much of a Good Thing

I can only do this alone.

After spending 9 days with my chef on our vacation I started to get, well, a little tired of him. Am I an awful wife? For the last several years I have been spending my evenings alone. Dinner alone, cleaning alone, TV alone-you get the idea I'm sure. This life of solitude has many downfalls...read this very blog for examples...but it also has its upsides. After all, if there were no positives then I'd go crazy. So the good parts: I can take long showers at night, watch whatever I want on TV, and get some serious "me" time. Some things can only be done alone, like singing outloud to Legally Blonde the musical, plucking my eyebrows, and watching Seinfeld. Last week towards the end of my vacation I got a little cranky and realized I hadn't spent time alone all week. I just wanted to be alone. Do nothing and say nothing. Erik was great about it and left me to wander around the internet for a while. I felt bad, but I was grateful for the time.

Does this happen to anyone else? Please tell me I'm not alone in wanting to be alone.

Although I'd choose to have my husband home more over anything else in the world, I do value my personal time that I've learned to love.



Anonymous said...

I think it's whatever you get used to. If you're used to having people around you all the time, being alone can be daunting. It took me awhile to get use to having my husband around when I finally got the chance. Funny, I guess you get used to things.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely normal...this goes double for living quarters. If you are used to living alone, living with another takes some time getting used to.

Besides, if you are like one of my friends who is also a teacher, you get to mark all those papers/projects at home without interruption-when you feel like doing them.

Chef, Teacher: 2 professions that take a lot of sacrifice (among many more of course)

You are just reassuring others that what they go through is perfectly okay.

Have a wonderful holiday!


Anonymous said...


My hubbs and I took a week vacation for our anniversary- he only had 2 days off for the wedding. It was the first time he'd had a week off of work since he started at age 16. We have never, in our entire relationship, spent more than 48 consecutive hours together... and by the end of day three, we were both getting a little... um, I think "cranky with each other" is a nice way of putting it.

I'm so glad to hear that this happens to other chef-wives too! You get so accustomed to having nights alone. Sure, it's depressing on weekends and holidays, but you get used to it- and then when the balance is disrupted, uh-oh!

the Palm Springs(ish) ChefWife

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, alone time is KEY! I could not survive if I did not have alone time. It makes you appreciate each others' presence more, it lets you stay in touch with yourself, and 24-7 companionship would make anyone batty. This is not unusual in the least.


Anonymous said...

I totally get you! There are nights when the chef is home that I seriously wish he weren't...doesn't that sound terrible? But, I'm also an only child. I'm so used to my alone routine at night that he interferes with my cheesy TV watching, etc. But, when we are on vacation (a rare event) I don't mind all the time together. Seems to be an at home type problem I have.