Hilary (wife) and Erik Battes (chef)

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I'm a twenty something chefwife married to a twenty something chef. I set up this blog as a place for wives, girlfriends, significant others, and anyone else stuck to a chef to come together and chirp to each other about how to deal with the nonsense that goes along with being the wife of a chef. I was struggling to live with a ghost of a husband who I never saw.I met two other chef wives that literally saved me. It was with that, that I realized there must be more who need love and support too, right? -Hilary Battes, First Lady Desperate Chefs'Wives

Speak Up

Monday, January 23, 2012

Single Chef Seeking Night Owl

Dating is hard enough without the added pressure of being a chef. I received a comment today and thought I'd help this lady out by asking all of you for advice. If we put all of our genius together, we should be able to get this lady on the right track.

So my issue comes from a different part of the spectrum. I am a 29 year old female chef trying to date!! Any suggestions with this? I am trying the online dating route and everyone seems to be working when I am off and off when I am working. I am going out of my mind! There is a high percentage of chefs dating other chefs but I am not interested in dating a co-worker to keep things professional. Any help out there? 
Thanks! 

My suggestion would be to make the most of your days off. Best case scenario, you have two days off that can be used to getting out there and meeting people. Although bars are so cliche, I wonder if there are any lounges where you live? Have you tried to ask your friend if they have single friends? And I completely agree that dating a co-worker is unprofessional, and oftentimes sticky, I do think that another chef at a different restaurant might not be a bad idea. Do you live in NY? I know a guy who may have access to several chefs...

Food is Love, 
Hilary 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Truth Is...

My friend Kerilyn over at Married to a Chef has asked several women to share their thoughts on the marriage-chef-children system. Take a look at what I've written.

And don't forget, Kerilyn is having a get-together in NYC this weekend for anyone who is interested in making a connection.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

NY Magazine Lifts The Veil on Fine Dining

An anonymous Per Se waiter reveals some of the most intimate and surprising details of his job. The part that touched me the most and in fact brought a tear to my eye: "There’s nothing more fun than to wait on someone who is genuinely interested in the food. You’ll get a couple that comes in, and this is their one time a year, and they’re just so happy to be at the restaurant. There was this kid blogger, he was like 16 or 17, and he had blogged about how he was saving up his allowance to come to Per Se. And he did. He came by himself and had lunch."

For other workplace 'snitch' articles from the most recent New York Magazine issue, including a teacher, a banker, a bikini waxer, an ER doctor, and many more, see here. 

Food is Love,
Hilary

Friday, January 6, 2012

Pool the Wives

Kerilyn Russo of Married to a Chef is hosting a gathering of chefs' wives/girlfriends and any significant others this month.  Russo is a certified life coach with a new website geared toward supporting those who support the chefs.  Her home base is the DC area and those wives meet on a regular basis.

Saturday, January 21
2PM
Ink48 Hotel- Print Restaurant


For more information visit Married to a Chef. And don't forget to visit Kerilyn's Facebook Page. 

Hope to see you there!

Food is Love,
hilary

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Today Show with My Chef!


**Update** Erik will no longer be presenting the dishes he put together for the Today Show segment. A different chef will. yep. different chef. 




This Sunday my fabulous chef husband will be doing a segment on tailgating for The Today Show weekend edition! I think I'm more excited than he is. He'll be cooking some fabulous burgers and other tailgating goodies from the Go Burger restaurants located in Los Angeles and New York. Although I won't be on air with Erik, Maverik and I will be the exuberant pair of fans leaning on the metal gates outside. I'm not sure of the exact times of the segment, but he doesn't have the be there until 8 AM so it's sometime after that. Set your DVRs people- this is HUGE (or us at least). 





Los Angeles
6290 Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90028

New York
1448 2nd Avenue
(bet. 75th and 76th Street)
New York, NY 10021

Food is Love, 
Hilary 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

8 Day Work Week

There's a common idea in our lovely little community that being a chef wife and mother is akin to being a single mother. Why is that notion so common? Because it's true! With a little work and time I think anyone can make the best of the rough situation. But what happens when your rough situation gets even rougher? 

Just when I was getting a handle on teaching and managing a middle school over 40 hours a week with a toddler at home who I never spend enough time with and a husband who gets a random "weekend" each week--BOOM. Now he's working every day. I know chefs work insane hours and days and I know my husband isn't the only chef working like  a dog, but COME ON, 7 days??! And this week, when my nearly two year old was too sick to go to school, I was the one who used up two sick days since Erik is just too important to. Some days I feel spread so thin I could just peel away like stretched silly putty. My arms would dangle and wiggle dropping the numerous bags I haul to daycare, school, the park, the doctor, the mall, and back home again at some point. And then...the Saint Jude telethon comes on and realize, after all, I am the luckiest woman in the world. 

Food is Love,
Hilary 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

100 Pound Meatball

It's not often that your chef comes home and asks, "How would you make a 100 pound meatball?" Now I wouldn't even begin to tackle that challenge so I just sat, stunned. A publicity event has got my chef rolling in meatballs.

Here is a photo essay of the trek a chef takes to create a 100 pound meatball. This is only the beginning- and only the TEST ball. Today is Wednesday and it won't be ready until Monday morning.


Erik and Anthony proudly showing off their supplies for the  Most Ridiculously Large Meatball ever. -BLT Steak White Plains


Anthony Micari had to heat the 30 inch bowl for it to fit into the oven. 

Chef Anthony, he's really not a small guy- just looks miniscule compared to 130 pounds of uncooked meat

It's beginning to bake. I'm reminded a certain red head who's six foot loaf of bread started out very similarly to this....

A man, proud of his massive meat mound

Food is Love, (and that meatball is made with loads of love)
Hilary

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I Think I'm Going to Be Sick


Ok ok, so here is another question of ethics. Can you, or rather: should you sue a restaurant if you know or even suspect that their food gave you food poisoning? I'm asking because according to TMZ, Pierce Bronson's wife, Keely, is suing R & D Kitchen in LA because she claims they gave her a severe case of food poisoning which apparently gave her serious and permanent injuries. I haven't had food poisoning in a long time but I do remember it being a horribly long and suffering week. But I just don't see this claim standing up in court. How will her highly paid lawyers prove that it was the food from k & D Specifically that made her ill? I think I just answered my own question. Have you ever suffered food poisoning from a restaurant and went back at them either with a nasty phone call or lawsuit? If I knew I ate bad clams at a certain restaurant, i'd definitely call them in hopes of preventing someone else from getting sick, but I wouldn't sue.



**UPDATE**
I just heard from TMZ that what actually happened was Keely took a bite of carrot cake with a walnut shell in it! Now this is much different than tainted clams. This walnut may have fractured her tooth. And the restaurant did offer a payout, but it was rejected. If it were me and I suffered from I would consider a careless mistake, I'd expect the restaurant to pay for any medical bills. But I have a feeling she wants much much more. We'll see how this turns out. I wonder if the pastry chef was fired. I certainly hope not. Although it appears to be a careless mistake, it doesn't seem worth losing a job over. 


Food is Love,
Hilary

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Are the wives doomed?

Tonight I got a comment from a lovely wife in need of our advice. I could email her myself but why not gather the genius of us all?

I have been a chef wife for 2 years- girlfriend for 8 before that. I told myself for 10 years that life would get better & we'd have more time together, but so far it hasn't happened. For about 9 years, I was 2nd, 3rd or 4th to various things. About a year ago he left me, saying he wasn't sure he wanted to be married (and I suspect he wanted to try out life with a new waitress he connected with. He came back a few months later, asked for forgiveness, I gave it & he has made a huge effort to make things work. But now I am questioning whether or not this life is worth it. I find myself not giving 100% to our marriage & it kills me. I love him dearly & he is one of my favorite people. I feel like we're doomed. Any advice? I'm tired of spending holidays, weekends and every night alone.

Food Is Love,
hilary


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Hell's Kitchen Winner Wins My Husband! Sort of.

I have a culinary guilty pleasure that I'm not above admitting. Yes, I watch Hell's Kitchen. I know that it's the trailer park version of Top Chef, but I just can't help it. Where else can you see a completely irate chef smashing cod and calling hopeless chefs donkeys? It's absolutely ridiculous but I can't help myself. And this season has proved especially intriguing because the winner receives a one year contract with BLT Steak in NYC. Yep- the winner will be working with my husband. I'm not sure yet if the prized chef will take the job and money, or just the job. It was definitely cool seeing BLT in all of the episodes and I'm glad the company was able to get so much press. BLT already has one ex-reality star working for them. Cliff from Top Chef season 2 will actually be the chef above our Hell's Kitchen alum. Interesting class of the boob tube stars.

Erik watched with me occasionally but for the most part the last thing he wants to do after working 13 hours in a kitchen is watch other people working in a kitchen.

Hell's Kitchen season 9 recently wrapped and the winner is....THIS GUY.

Paul Niedermann from Davie, FL
Looks nice, right? 

he wasn't my first pick- I like Will from Jersey City, NJ but you never can tell with 'reality' TV. 

Food is Love, 
Hilary