The Anti-Kitchen

Gordon Ramsay knows how to run restaurants and make delicious food. And another thing he's good at: he is wonderful at getting the bottom of barrel wannabe-chefs to perform like monkeys on Hell's Kitchen. I can't believe the rag-tag group of food service employees that FOX managed to scrape out of the woodwork. Corporate buffet workers, food court cooks, catering cooks and even a cooking school teacher who never went to cooking school. These people are laughable and I love it!!!

Hell's kitchen is one of my most favorite cooking shows. It's totally outrageous and unreal, but Gordon Ramsay is such a jerk that it's like watching a rough horror film-you just can't turn away. Then I wonder if I should try out. I've got the look-whatever that is, I'm young and I'm married to a chef so I am clearly as unqualified as I need to be. But then again, I don't think I could take GR calling me a donkey and picking at my deepest insecurities.

Catch full episodes on the Hell's Kitchen website.

P.S. Restaurant week is pretty much over! My husband will return to a normal state of being now! I'd like to think he'll come home earlier and mumble less about burgers in his sleep-but I know not to hold my breath.

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

DB burger.

Around 5:23 I got the call from the branches of the phone tree at work saying that school was cancelled. Well this quick phone call must have triggered something in Erik because he was yammering on about a burger restaurant.

"Did she get your order?"

"Order, no that was S, there is no school today."

"Yeah, but did you place your order? We are in a burger joint, right?"

"NO! We are in our bedroom, it's 5:3o AM. No burgers."

"Yeah, we have to order the burgers. I know there are burgers here."

This non-conversation went on for about 10 minutes and I was fuming by the end. If I didn't have to get up for work, I wanted to sleep in as long as I could. I think this edition of chef mumbles was triggered by my husband's general love of burgers and our recent trip to 5 Guys in Hoboken. It's our new favorite burger place. And it's not even in our bedroom-they have locations all over.





DCW_NYC


-Hilary-

Restaurant Games

I never realized how addicted I have become to the restaurant industry. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the love I have of all things culinary. My non-hatred for restaurants, blogs, food shows, and NYC gossip has provided me with 50% of the tolerance I have for my chef. The other 50% comes from him being so fantastic. Anyways, when I have a bit of free time I find myself clicking on the games section of Yahoo and playing some sort of version of Cake Mania. I've run burger restaurants in space, sub shops on subway trains, and recently I've even served fish to penguins on an ice rink. When you've got a spare moment...haha...try some of these games and I bet you might even be better than you're chef. I know I am.

Burger Island 2

Cake Mania 3

Cooking Dash

Hot Dish 2

Cooking Academy

Go Go Gourmet

Delicious 2

The games have 60 minute free downloads, and paid versions as well. They are all pretty easy with levels that get faster and more intricate. Let me know if you play any!

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Obama, in Pig Form

In honor of our 44th president, Barack Obama, I present to you my non-winning pig in a costume dressed as Obama himself. Politics aside, today America made history and I'm grateful it happened in my lifetime. 

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

In between something that's too loud for breathing and too soft for snoring I hear:

"...I don't even know what I cooking this week."

Well, you better figure it out soon because restaurant week is now I kid, Perry St has a fatastic reataurant week deal, then again it always has a $24 3-course lunch and $35 3- course dinner.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

One Stop Shopping

It's pretty funny that people are lead to my website via Google by entering very random search queries. They ask for help dealing with being married to a chef and also ways to meet single chefs. These two groups of women should really get together. Maybe I could change my site name ...
Search/Date/Marry: A girl's guide to finding, hooking, and making true love last with a chef.
Too long?

Here's a list of my favorite keywords that lead to DesperateChefsWives.com

1. most chefs burnout

2. married chef problems/lonely chefs wives/married chef issues/relationship advice for working chefs

3. single chefs

4. marrying a chef

5. perry st chef housewife-I'm not a housewife!

6. gay chefs

7. wives of chefs support group

8. my husband is a chef /alone

9. chefs in a recession

10. is mike colameco married/is david chang married?/is aaron sanchez married?/johnny iuzzini married?/is whylie dufresne married?

11. chefs and family time

12. how to take care of chef's hands

13. my husband is a chef and he's always gone

14. korean desperate for a chef

15. My favorite: its hard dating a chef.

No kidding.

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

chefHUSBAND vs. chefWIFE

When will this madness end? I suppose not soon since I just entitled this blog, "It's On!". Whatever. So I could hardly concentrate on a language arts workshop I was attending because of a provocative comment from Tina Barry regarding Mr. ChefHusband that was forwarded to my iPhone earlier today:

Your wife of five months works two 12-hour days a week and you "can't deal with
it." Oh, boy, you're a gem. Here's a thought. How about being supportive. How
about not looking for things to pick on like her one old credit card. How about
saying, this is my wife's dream and I'm going to help make it happen for her.Man
up guy and start being a husband.

I set up this blog as a place for women-and men-to visit when they need advice as well as the validation that being married to a ghost isn't all that crazy. I've heard testimonials from women who have entered the site then come to a mini epiphany, "My chef isn't the only one who smells up the hamper like fresh grouper and onions?" It was a harmonious place hear with stories of struggles and sacrifice, accomplishments and awards. But then came THE MAN. Mr. Chefhusband came on the scene with the same complaints and fears as any of us. But some of you brutalized and crucified him with sarcastic and nasty comments. Two separate comments declared that he must "be a man" or "man up". WHAAAT? I know you didn't just say that in 2009, on MLK weekend, a few days before we elect our first black president! Maybe I'm getting carried away, probably not though.



So, because Mr. Chefhusband is a male he should deal with the miserable marriage that's clearly not working for him? And because the majority of us are women we can harp on and on, complaining to each other, setting up blogs and forums dedicated to supporting each other? Why isn't he allowed the same right?



A man, a woman, gay, straight? I didn't set this blog up as a place for criticism against our fellow chefswives OR chefshusbands. If you are lonely at home, feeling neglected, and questioning your marriage to a chef-then this is the place for you. However, if you are only interested in harming others who are married to chefs, then please-leave. I understand the risks of saying something like this on a blog that hardly generates enough traffic as it is. I'd rather have a supportive, positive blog with 2 viewers than one with destructive comments generating million visitors a day.

Plus, you never know who might run a story on this homegrown blog.

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

Chef Stress

Stress is everywhere. Every job, every family, every home and everyBODY is stressed to the max. We get headaches, neck pain and addictions to caffeine and alcohol just to cope with it. Damn, I'm getting stressed just thinking about how stressed I can get. But the stress of a chef is of a different breed than the rest. The pressure in the kitchen is up so high it's no wonder chefs are notorious for pushing the limit of consuming energy drinks to get through the dinner rush and later, liquor to get over the night.

I have to confess that I definitely add to the stress of Erik's job. I'm much better than I used to be. I cannot even believe I used to get on his back about promotions, raises, days off and fair pay. HA. I've since learned to keep my mouth shut. I know he and I want the same things so I've had to relax and let him so things on his own time. But he's still worrying about getting ordering done, revising dishes, training cooks, hiring staff, lowering food costs, and a heap of other things I don't care to think about.

How stressed are your chefs? Do they come home screaming? Moaning? Aching? Wheezing? Crying? Do your chefs induce stress in you just from their stories of work? Mine does! Erik comes home and does a pretty good job of leaving his work in the kitchen, aside from sharing a juicy story or two. It may be wrong to gossip, but it sure does help to keep things light.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Dear Chefhusband,

What happened? You must be feeling so overwhelmed at this point. You are contemplating your failing marriage and on top of that several Internet strangers are telling you what's best and throwing sandbags of advice at you. This must be terrible. But then again, you must also feel very proud of yourself for refusing to live in a marriage that's not working. Of course, by refusing to live in that marriage you have two choices 1. Leave. 2. Fix it.

It seems that you want to fix it, but you feel hopeless. That's not a good position to be in. And please understand that all the patrons of this website are looking out for your best interest, or least Id like to think so. Though the comments may come off as harsh, believe me, these people have been in very similar situations and they want to see you have the same happiness as them. What a gift they are giving you!

It's said that love conquers all. Does it? Will love conquer your struggling marriage? You and your wife will decide that. It's not easy being married to a chef. Ever! But it's your job, and hers, to work and work and work every day at your marriage until DEATH DO YOU PART or you are miserable. I don't hope you stay together. My hope for you is this: I hope you both are happy. Only your marriage will decide how to make that happen.

Best of luck my friend,
Hilary

Dear DCW...Comment please!

In the last post written there was a comment left by a desperate chefs' husband! He is going through many of the same struggles that we go through. Here is the comment he left:

hi i am not a chef wife but a chef husband. i make all the money, pay all the bills, and take care of everything at home. she makes next to nothing, is never home, and barely makes the payments on her old credit debt and student loans.she works from 10am - at least 10pm if not longer on weekend nights, has sunday and monday off.we have been married for 5 months and i cant deal with this lifestyle anymore.anyone else have a similar situation? i am struggling to keep this relationship going. we have issues now but no time to work through them and i am convinced that the lack of time we have together IS our issue.HELP PLEASE!

Now I know if we get all of our brilliant minds together, we can help this guy out. Everyone deserves some happiness.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Say It Ain't So!

Right when I thought that the anticlimax of the holiday season would give Erik some time to recuperate I hear the two worst worst for a chef's wife: RESTAURANT WEEK.

Oh no. Here we go again.
Picture me acting my disbeleife out Elaine from Seinfeld style while shoving Erik and saying, "Get OUT".

DCW_NYC (back home!)
-Hilary-

Fancy Feline

I came across this video a while ago, but it just occurred to me that I should share it with you since it's A: Hilaryous and B: involves food and table manners. 



The question is: Is this woman insane or skilled at teaching cats useless tricks? And why won't she share her secret? My theory is that there is a rubber band attached to the fork and the cat's paw. Even at that, the cat still actually eats with it instead of doing that backwards walking cat thing they do when they want to get something (like doll's clothes) off them. 

Do I wish my cats could do this? YES Do I want them or their smelly food anywhere near me and my food? NEVER!

DCW_Still in Columbus, Ohio

-Hilary-

I'm driving back to New Jersey tomorrow so wish me luck on my 8 hour drive. There will be a pit stop in Zanesville, Ohio to pick up a cooler full of farm raised meat from my uncle. Yea!

Twenty Oh Nine

What new and exciting things will 2009 bring? For me, I'd like to think things around here will stay mostly the same. I like my life,no scratch that- I'm in love with my life. Yes, there are several things things that would make my life more enjoyable: more time with my chef, a higher interest rate in the bank, and self cleaning apartments. But since I can't make any of those things happen, I'll stick to a few unsubstantiated resolutions.

1. Fight with the chef less. Which we have been doing for a while but I can't stop working on that now.

2. Put myself first more often-or even just once!

3. Worry less about stuff. Things are what they are.


I'm sure you've all got some resolutions of your own, some the same, some different, but I would think #1 up there is going to be a popular one.

DCW_Columbus,Ohio
-Hilary-