tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.comments2024-02-18T07:08:41.655-05:00Desperate Chefs' WivesHilary Batteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379733128452993947noreply@blogger.comBlogger2034125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-21079123039610179152024-02-18T00:50:46.953-05:002024-02-18T00:50:46.953-05:00Absolutely ‼️Absolutely ‼️Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-33100866075618275382023-06-02T18:12:32.653-05:002023-06-02T18:12:32.653-05:00Don't I fucking know it....😔Don't I fucking know it....😔Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-84168665561803615492022-12-31T10:23:04.927-05:002022-12-31T10:23:04.927-05:00Still together! Married for 17 years with two kids...Still together! Married for 17 years with two kids! Hilary Batteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17379733128452993947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-12261499474588315562022-12-31T02:06:16.941-05:002022-12-31T02:06:16.941-05:00New Jersey.
Curious to know if your marriage survi...New Jersey.<br />Curious to know if your marriage survived?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-61944768743677262012022-07-08T14:57:14.470-05:002022-07-08T14:57:14.470-05:00Does it get better? That all depends! Dating and m...Does it get better? That all depends! Dating and marrying a chef or anyone who is dedicated to their job is a balancing act. I haven't updated this blog in YEARS, but I can proudly say I am still happily married to my husband. The sacrifices are real and you have to talk to your spouse all the time before resentment builds up. Hilary Batteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17379733128452993947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-17334224057949579682022-04-27T22:24:07.404-05:002022-04-27T22:24:07.404-05:00Ive been dating a chef at a demanding 3-Michelin s...Ive been dating a chef at a demanding 3-Michelin star restaurant for about three years now. We live together and have been talking about getting married soon, but it’s been increasingly getting difficult to manage our relationship with his working hours. I work at a “9to5” type job but my role is also very demanding, and I value my career as much as my s/o does. However, it always feel like I’m the one waiting around and sacrificing to spend some quality time together, if any. It only got worse after he’s been promoted to sous…does it get better? I want him to succeed and thrive in what he does, but will there ever be a happy medium to this dilemma without major sacrifice? I question if this is a sustained lifestyle for me, especially if we get married. I love him more than anything, but I feel like I’ve reached a tipping point…Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-44864369570828343942022-04-10T15:51:37.945-05:002022-04-10T15:51:37.945-05:00I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now,...I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now, and she recently started in culinary school. Although we're still young, I can definitely say that she is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, but she is nervous she'll make me feel neglected with the industry she's going into. Any tips?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-57972856511518371192021-12-01T11:02:48.093-05:002021-12-01T11:02:48.093-05:00That was extremely helpful as I'm currently si...That was extremely helpful as I'm currently sitting on that fencePollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02422519260201241513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-88223108143728953252021-09-07T01:22:08.288-05:002021-09-07T01:22:08.288-05:00Hello I'm not a chef wife. I am a chef though ...Hello I'm not a chef wife. I am a chef though and I've worked in many different kitchens in my time and they said that we should wear silicone rings in the kitchen because if you were to hurt your finger with your wedding band on it they would have to cut it off to fix whatever damage you did to your hand. That's why they said to wear silicone rings. The other chefs I've trained with in my time of traveling for fine dining cooking or fusion cooking is what I do I've seen everyone wearing silicone rings. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06324686250202086014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-20058952646142478102020-08-10T05:40:54.577-05:002020-08-10T05:40:54.577-05:00The whistle starts to sound. It is safe to open th...The whistle starts to sound. It is safe to open the pressure cooker. The outside should be cut out to avoid overcooking. Based on these recipes.poxet 60 reviewshttps://www.dosepharmacy.com/poxet-60mg-tabletnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-46073799748651068542020-08-10T05:39:54.149-05:002020-08-10T05:39:54.149-05:00Suit jacket which came with pants. Should not be w...Suit jacket which came with pants. Should not be worn with different pants. A dress does not look good without a shirt and tie jacket.<br />aurogra reviewshttps://www.dosepharmacy.com/aurogra-100mg-tabletnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-85870084418577966852020-08-10T05:36:26.889-05:002020-08-10T05:36:26.889-05:00Too young, not considered old. Not considered midd...Too young, not considered old. Not considered middle-aged. In a sense they are not even young adults, even though they are still young! Be happy and get the most out of it.how to take fildenahttps://dosepharmacy.com/blog/how-to-take-fildena-sildenafil/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-65298277557429905342019-11-04T15:09:56.415-05:002019-11-04T15:09:56.415-05:00I’ve been in a relationship with a chef on and off...I’ve been in a relationship with a chef on and off for 3 years. We started out with so much time together and clicked right away. I didn’t know the life of a chef until about 3 weeks in because he was in between restaurants when we started dating. So much passion and love came through so quick that when he started getting back into that chef life I was completely in love with him. When we get to one together- it’s truly something special and I always leave him with a smile that stays on my face all day. <br /><br />We had a bad break the first time I left him, and I ended up in Alanon meetings where I found out I needed to leave him then. I change for the better but I never stopped loving him. A year went by before I saw or heard from him again. I ran into him on Halloween night in Chicago - thinking he was still living in Costa Rica. He apologized for everything he put me through and told me where he’s been the past year and that he never stopped thinking about me. We had a few romantic monuments and then another 7 months went by before I saw him last month. Every time we are together it feels like a just saw him and my heart just belongs to him. He always ends up saying all of the right things I never expect him to say.<br /><br />So, now it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve seen or really heard much from him. But last night my friend and I run into him because we were going to a show at a venue attached to his restaurant. He didn’t seem very happy to see me. I feel like I should not contact for a while. <br /><br />-AnnaAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014366098599592279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-22396087119372794502019-11-04T15:02:21.228-05:002019-11-04T15:02:21.228-05:00Hi All, I'm new to this page, but i need some ...Hi All, I'm new to this page, but i need some support.. i'm recently married to my wife (only a year) and its been a year from hell.. I maybe get to see her two days a week if i am lucky, otherwise, i am doing everything else, working full time, planning for a future, taking care of everything at home and all our fur babies. Its just so hard sometimes to go through something alone, always feeling alone.. i'm just not feeling important or that i'm number one cause something is always happening at the restaurant that comes before me. she is so passionate about this career and i want to support it but she feels like she cant talk to me about work cause i just get mad and don't understand.. i hate the fighting but someone i want to be first. or at least somehow get back to that dating phase cause at least then i felt special even if i only saw her once a week.Elainanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-83020324741643366852019-07-24T07:57:47.407-05:002019-07-24T07:57:47.407-05:00Hi, great to read some chef partner and wife blogs...Hi, great to read some chef partner and wife blogs and comments. I am married to an amazing and gorgeous Chef of almlst 13 years and go through peaks and troughs of being okay with being passing ships, attending social events alone or with my daughter, managing work, being a mum and the bulk of household tasks, spending 4 nights alone. I'm currently in a trough and am thinking "is this really what I want?". I love my hubby to bits but I can soon forget that when we lack quality time together. Good to know others can feel the same way.<br /><br />KWigAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-15005078489677969832018-10-23T01:18:49.206-05:002018-10-23T01:18:49.206-05:00Hi there!
I have just come across this site and ...Hi there! <br /><br />I have just come across this site and I love it! Well done for setting this up! This is a great little outlet for people to come together and share their experiences when it comes to life and love with a chef! :)<br />I have recently started dating a chef/restaurant owner. I know right, pretty full on! Ha! But the funny thing is, it hasn't been that hard at all despite the "obstacles we have." We live 2 hours away from each other and I know what you’re thinking already, we are crazy! Haha! And on top of this, our days off don’t align at all! (surprise, surprise!) So for a start it is tricky, but we are keen to see where this goes and we really make the most of the time we do get to be together! My only complaint I have thus far is that I constantly miss him and he me but absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. We met online and the connection was pretty much instantaneous. We work well together – We have great banter and communicate with each other which we continue (when we find little pockets of free time) throughout our days. There is lots of laughs between us, we have a very similar sense of humour, same values and the importance of family. Tick, tick, tick! Clearly I am already rather smitten with him! I fully respect his line of work and am in absolute owe of his work and the work ethic that comes along with that - And yet he still finds the time for me! He always asks me about my day and is there for me whenever I need him in any way he can. We have both been through some pretty horrible relationship breakups that have ended not of our own accord and so we both very much know what we want in life and value the importance of good people so much more and we really cherish and care for each other greatly. So why am I on here? I guess I am looking for any advice people out there can give to me/to us to make this work. I know eventually one of us is going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice and move for the other and I know already that will be me. I’m 100% aware of this. But in the interim, while we are still getting into our relationship and enjoying what we have just found together, how do all of you out there make #cheflife work? <br /><br />Many thanks!<br />R - Aussie girlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-13302669380397007722018-09-23T02:31:38.637-05:002018-09-23T02:31:38.637-05:00My wife should have been on this spread. Assistant...My wife should have been on this spread. Assistant Executive Chef Mav from the Prime Social Club in Houston Tx Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17789843751965057855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-8617468491435900422018-07-26T17:55:25.794-05:002018-07-26T17:55:25.794-05:00Just as an aside, you may want to include boyfrien...Just as an aside, you may want to include boyfriends and husbands etc as well, speaking personally as a female chef, and working with many other passionate and dedicated and hard-working chefs who are female,spouses and s/os of both genders should be included. there are a whole variety of chefs also, and depending on work enviro. I work in a 500 room hotel with 7 outlets including a banquet kitchen. So there are more 'lull' periods than just 2-4pm. If you're involved with a chef (male or female obviously) you will find their own personal story is different than the next person's. My roommate is a baker on overnights and sleeps during the day so we rarely see each other. I am a banquet chef and I work breakfast and lunch functions. So no matter whether your other half is a morning chef or lunch or dinner or overnights, 'dropping by' mostly never is cool. <br />Loads of careers are demanding and people choose assorted careers for diff reasons. A large populus of new chefs-in-training in this day and age think becoming any sort of chef is a cake walk, watch Food Network, get starry eyed, think all involved is head to culinary school, and then in no time will be a celebrity. So yeah your likely o hook up with someone with a huge ego. For the rest of us, cooking as a career is the only thing imaginable, whether it is baking overnight or serving foie gras in a Michelin star or working in a pub resto or a hospital kitchen or wherever. And as much as I love balance in my life -ie making time for friends and family, my career is first and I will not try to beg for weekends or holidays off, because a couple of family members have still not grasped those days off do not ever exist for us. And bugging about it just reminds us that we have not had a Christmas dinner at Christmas in 20 years. Or whatever. I/we signed up for this career because we are super passionate about it and knew going in (those of us without rose coloured glasses on) what the sacrifices are. You know? So if you're falling for someone who is a chef or wants to be one, you can't tell them to change careers, and you can't whine about crazy schedules, either long hours or diff schedules or short notice changes. that is our reality. Find a diff spouse with a mon-fri 9-5 and holidays free if you can't deal with instability or unpredictable or if you are the type of s/o who expects a reply to your text message w/in 2 minutes or you blow up their phone or jump to conclusios they are cheating on you/dont love you anymore/etc. When you're on the line or in middle of cooking a lunch for 300 pax, you dont get to answer your phone or reply to messages. I love my job too much to feed someone's insecurities and risk losing my job. <br />Yeaeh you know ltrs are often about compromise. A woman or a man who has CHOSEN to be a chef of whatever kind has done so voluntarily and by choice. Which is why I say the only relationships that survive are chef and chef, for we are the only ones who are fully ok with schedules and sched changes and long hours, and smelling like onions or garlic or pork or whatever else weve been working with all day, and not desiring to cook a 5 course meal for family every time we have a reunion or even come home after a 12 hour shift. <br />However, when there is energy or time, yes we do play with food and so you are correcí, throw the Mon - fri exact food budget out. You wouldnt tell an artist to not spend any money on new paints or canvas or whatever. <br />And finally, not mentioned here, we are experimenters and for most part eat anything - aside from the odd fellow chef I have worked with say who is allergic to X Y or Z. So if you are a picky eater, accept the home kitchen can be used as a playground for all sorts of things, unless your chef s/o person has same restricted diet as you do.<br />Ok well I'm writing this after a 12 hour shift, which began at 4am lol so I apologize for the rambling. You can expect a whole lot of this from your chef spouse/s/o also :))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-54349552792999753742017-08-12T19:57:16.476-05:002017-08-12T19:57:16.476-05:00Hello ladies -- I've been married for 25 years...Hello ladies -- I've been married for 25 years to my guy, who's been a restaurant manager for the last dozen or so. After many years of assuring me that he's looking for work outside the industry in order to have a better balance of life and work, he now says this is what he loves to do, is good at, and can't seem to find other work that will pay enough (which I know is true). While I appreciate all the hope and optimism and courage many of you profess, I also hear the pain and loneliness and sorrow that many of you experience ... and here's what I want to say, from my own years of living with this situation: DO NOT SACRIFICE YOUR OWN WELL-BEING. This man that you love is NOT the only man in the world. You will NOT die or shrivel up and be miserable if you decide to move on. Think about what you want from a relationship, from a marriage: a few hours here and there of companionship, but spending most nights and weekends and holidays alone? Your man might be a great guy, you might love him, but please think carefully about making a commitment to someone whose chosen career is one that makes a good marriage (especially with kids!)very, very difficult. Are you wondering why I'm still married? Me too, LOL ... but I am at the other end of my working life, and know that if I leave now, I will likely spend the rest of my life alone and struggling to make ends meet; staying is partly an economic decision for me. But honestly, if I were fifteen or twenty years younger, I would move on as kindly as possible, honoring both his desire to do the work he loves, and my desire to open myself up to the possibility of finding someone who shares my values for a more balanced life and a better quality relationship. Just my two cents; maybe this will help someone who's on the fence. Much love and strength to you all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-1354159880380864782017-06-25T13:56:20.151-05:002017-06-25T13:56:20.151-05:00Hi,
I just started dating a Chef about a month and...Hi,<br />I just started dating a Chef about a month and a half ago and I'm beyond frustrated. He lives 35 miles away without D.C. traffic and if I want to see him most of the time it's me driving to him and sitting in his restaurant for three hours taking the 5 min he has here and there. He only has off Sunday and Monday and I work 9-5 during the week. When he is off he wants to sleep til noon. Aside from a movie, all we've ever done is eat out. He doesn't even have food in his house, he brings home food from his restaurant. I ask him to call, he never does. I sometimes don't hear from him until 4 or 5 in the afternoon. He never says anything sweet about missing me or liking me, I say it all. How on earth am I supposed to build a bond with him? He doesn't seem to care about how it hurts me. Maybe it shouldn't this early on but I'm trying so hard and it feels like his job will always be first. Please help. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09823964557038514310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-20124609033127886782017-05-15T23:44:37.588-05:002017-05-15T23:44:37.588-05:00I am married to a chef and wihtout knowing that he...I am married to a chef and wihtout knowing that he will plan to open a restaurant. So the time has come and he will be starting his venture soon. But even being in his job, we never had weekends together and sometimes not even the evenings. And not getting enough time together has always been the normal routine between us. So now he will start the new venture and I would be seeing him less and less. Do not know how to deal with this. All I am doing at the moment is boasting his confidence and being by his side. Hoping all goes well and my relation will hopefully deal with this new and big change.Sweetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-91064235542820816932016-12-11T12:08:57.800-05:002016-12-11T12:08:57.800-05:00Juliana - you are from NYC? I just started dating ...Juliana - you are from NYC? I just started dating a chef and am feeling a lot of the frustrations you are which is why I started looking online for support. A lot of my friends just simply don't understand. <br /><br />Hopefully we can connect and commiserate!<br /><br />Iris - NYCLost Lenorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13589960027377032629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-31473544090666576982016-12-11T12:03:16.197-05:002016-12-11T12:03:16.197-05:00Hey Juliana,
I just started dating a chef and I&...Hey Juliana, <br /><br />I just started dating a chef and I'm in NYC. I started googling around for resources to find some support. I'm happy to swap information if you're around!Lost Lenorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13589960027377032629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-27528680983514097632016-11-23T00:01:53.211-05:002016-11-23T00:01:53.211-05:00So glad that I stumbled across this blog. It's...So glad that I stumbled across this blog. It's exactly what I needed right now. Being a chef wife can be really lonely and frustrating. It's nice to see that I'm not alone here. <br /><br />A little of my story: married for 6 months to a director of operations/corporate chef for a group with multiple restaurants in CA and NYC, Chicago, DC and soon to be openings in Houston and possibly Toronto (restaurant openings AHHHH!!! I've been through 3 openings with my dude and they are NOT FUN). Restaurants across the country = splitting time amongst them all = travel for weeks at a time. The hubs has been in this position for about 4 months and prior to this, worked as an executive/corporate chef for two other restaurant groups. Hours are long, time is so limited, and he was told he would be required to travel approximately 40-50% of the calendar year. It's hard enough when he is home in NYC for work with super long work days and then when you add travel...ugh! <br /><br />I'm not sure if this is allowed...I find that it's hard to talk to family and friends that aren't in the same boat and can't relate. I would love to swap information with anyone willing that would like to chat/vent/cry together. Chef wives need supoort from one another! :)<br /><br />Juliana - NYCJuliananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3648374498406854611.post-31447773021862890422016-11-18T22:04:20.830-05:002016-11-18T22:04:20.830-05:00I am in a similar position. I have been with my ma...I am in a similar position. I have been with my man for over a year. His schedule will probably be the end of our relationship. I find myself resenting him often and worry about our future. He is 34 and did not go to culinary school, so I think he has moved up as far as he can. It makes me very sad. I am supportive but inside, it kills me. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com