Chef Mumbles

We've been having a lot of trouble around here getting Erik to keep the CPAP breathing machine on at night. He takes it off without knowing it and seems delusional when I tell him to put it back on. Well this time his delusions turned into an audible chef mumble. Have a read:

Me: Put the mask back on.

Erik: Why? What is going on?

Me: Just put the mask back on so we can go back to sleep.

Erik: Sleep? We're sleeping?

Me: Yeaaaah....

Erik: So we're not making amuse bouche?

Hilary: [rolled over and gave up]


Food is Love
Hilary

Chef Mumbles

This one is particularly odd as my husband acknowledged he was talking in his sleep, yet continued to mumble about custard. I was laughing so hard the whole time, my stomach hurts. Have a read:

"I know this is going to be ridiculous.... The custards haven't set. We have to make a new batch."

"How do you make custard?"

"You need eggs."

"How many?"

"Read the recipe."

"I don't have a recipe, can't you just teach me?"

"I'm not here to teach you; make more custard." (He's tough!)

"Can't we just put the custard in the freezer to set?"

"That might work. This is ridiculous. I'm in the bed!"

Erik was recently fitted for a CPAP ("see-pap") machine to help him sleep at night since he has sleep apnea. However, he hasn't quite gotten used to the breathing machine and until he does these mumbles are going to continue.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Chef Mumbles

Getting reading for work this morning I heard the chef muttering something in bed.

"How many wings are here?"

"Um....2?"

"No, there are way more than that, there are at least 5 birds cooking. Can't you smell it?"

Now, he's dreaming about chicken. Or come to think of it, that could be turkey or even squab. We'll never know.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Chef Mumbles

Where am I? Am I blending whipped cream?

No. You're sleeping... in a bed... on the 20th floor... in Jersey City.

I need nice, soft peaks for this whipped cream.

Whatever.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Chef Mumbles

Did we have a cheese sandwich making contest last night?

No.

Yes we did.

No, we didn't.

YES! We both made cheese sandwiches.


The sad part about this conversation is that the chef was awake. I can't wait to find the results of this sleep test Sunday. On the information packet we had to fill out there was a section to mark things that happen in the night. "Talking during sleeping" was checked off faster than anything else.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Chef Mumbles

In my hair? On my sandwich?

My chef really loves his condiments. Especially mayonnaise. This is what I heard while I was putting on my shoes early this morning on the edge of the bed:


"The mayonnaise isn't working."


"Isn't working for what?"


"It's not working as a hair product."


No, mayonnaise isn't really good for that. Then again, I've heard it can make for some shiny locks.


DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles Become Interactive

"Potatoes Bed" 2006 Dom del Torto

The days of just Erik mumbling in his sleep to himself may be over. There is a whole new breed of early morning mumbles emerging. Today around 6:30 AM, Erik tells me: "Don't move." So now I'm scared thinking there is giant furry spider on my back. But I think back to other moments similar and decided to play along for the sake of "Don't wake the sleepwalker/chefmumbler." He then presses his hand firmly on my back and removes my covers. He says, "The potatoes are moved." I just rolled over and looked at him inquisitively. He started telling me about the potatoes and how there was hot oil, but now there isn't so everything is okay. With each new statement he seemed to become more lucid. He started to smile and said, "What's going on?"


I don't know. I just don't know.


DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

It's been a while since Erik has said anything in his sleep so I was beginning to wonder if stopped dreaming about work. I found out this morning, that is certainly not the case.

"Can you drop one more egg re-fire? I know I'm dreaming. I know I'm sleeping. But we need one more fried egg. "


HA!
DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

DB burger.

Around 5:23 I got the call from the branches of the phone tree at work saying that school was cancelled. Well this quick phone call must have triggered something in Erik because he was yammering on about a burger restaurant.

"Did she get your order?"

"Order, no that was S, there is no school today."

"Yeah, but did you place your order? We are in a burger joint, right?"

"NO! We are in our bedroom, it's 5:3o AM. No burgers."

"Yeah, we have to order the burgers. I know there are burgers here."

This non-conversation went on for about 10 minutes and I was fuming by the end. If I didn't have to get up for work, I wanted to sleep in as long as I could. I think this edition of chef mumbles was triggered by my husband's general love of burgers and our recent trip to 5 Guys in Hoboken. It's our new favorite burger place. And it's not even in our bedroom-they have locations all over.





DCW_NYC


-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

In between something that's too loud for breathing and too soft for snoring I hear:

"...I don't even know what I cooking this week."

Well, you better figure it out soon because restaurant week is now I kid, Perry St has a fatastic reataurant week deal, then again it always has a $24 3-course lunch and $35 3- course dinner.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles...Only Worse

Talking in your sleep is one thing, but getting up in the middle of the night and changing into work clothes is sickening. Erik! Come on, you need a vacation.

Last night Erik woke up, took off his flannel pants, put on his work pants, then went back to sleep for another three hours. Really? This is getting a little out of hand. He did this once before and actually started to leave the apartment, but that was over 4 years ago. I thought the chef-sleep walking was over.

Jean-Georges, if you're reading this: give my husband a day off. Oh, and I heard you can ice skate. There's a rink on my street, can you cross the Hudson and teach me some cool moves? I really want to learn an axel.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

ChefMumbles: Spanish Edition

Dios Mio! Mi esposo molestame en la noche. 

The other morning I was creeping by Erik to day good-bye when he mumbled:

"Tiempo! I need the timer. Tiempo!"

I know most of you enjoy reading this segment of the blog, however I'm taking this personally now. I mean why can't he just turn on at least 5% of his [English speaking] brain to mumble the words I want to hear? ....I love you...good-bye...have a good day....you look so sophisticated in that sweater....something!

After all, I get up during my sleeping time to: fix a late night meal, watch tv, chat, clean up the late night meal, and even talk in bed. But on the other hand, I suppose he can't control his midnight mumbles. Unless he worked less than 72 hundred hours a week. 

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

Korean ChefMumbles

This one requires a bit of a backstory.

My chefhusband is a second generation half Korean. His mother (who designed my awesome logo) moved to the US when she was very young. Erik's grandmother, God rest her soul, taught him some Korean, but not enough to live on. I've always wanted to learn more Korean so I've been doing a little Rosetta Stone and I love it! But last night Erik busts out some of the first phrases he ever learned.

(Click to HEAR the Korean version)

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you?

So now he mumbling in Korean. AHHH!
DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Chef Mumbles

Usually husband mumbles his chef-talk closer towards the morning hours. But this last mumble was in the middle of the night last night.

Erik sat up in bed, opened his eyes wide, looked at me and said:

"Go ahead. Try it."

"Try what?"

"The strawberry rhubarb tart. Try it."


This may sound like something on the Perry St menu, but it's not. Who knows, maybe his dreams and chef mumbles will be his inspiration for new dishes. In the meantime, I've now got a craving for a strawberry rhubarb tart.

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

ChefMumbles

Sweet Dreams....
photo by: Michael Harlan Turkell

This was the mother of all mumbles. I was telling my comatose that I was running late for work. And by late I mean I would be 55 minutes early instead of an hour early. For those of you who hate being late, you know what agony this is. It was a mistake to even utter words to my R.E.M. deep sleep chefhusband.

"I'm running late" I mutter from the bathroom while furiously brushing.

"Wylie [Dufresne] called for you. He's mad you're late. Then Daniel [Boulud] called and you didn't even hurry up for him"

Should I be more worried that Erik is completely insane when he's asleep or that he's dreaming of other chefs? Definitely the latter.

photo courtesy NY Magazine

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

ChefMumbles

In the middle of the night, clear as day my chef says to me:

"Did you get the food for Mr. Berry, the murdered circus performer?"


Now it's just getting creepy. I learned later that this came from a video game plot. Oh, dear.

DCW_NYC
-H-

ChefMumbles

As I'm deciding which uncomfortable teaching shoes to wear this morning my chef peaks his head above the covers and askes:

"Did you switch at Mercer Kitchen"

to which I replied,

"Yes".

"Yeah, but did you switch?"

"Yes"

"Yeah, but did you switch?"

"Yes"


This went on for about five minutes and I still have no idea what he was talking about.
DCW_NYC
-H-

ChefMumbles

This morning he whispered this into my ear:

"Is your station ready?"

Yes.

"No it's not."



DCW_NYC
-H-

ChefMumbles

This morning before getting out of bed at 6:02 a.m., I pulled the covers over my husband and said: "Good Morning".

In response: "I love you. I'll make sure the runners don't touch your risotto."

Ooooookaaaaaaay.
DCW_NYC
-H-

ChefMumbles

I'm going to start a new recurring post topic based on the things my chefhusband says in his sleep. This all started about 5 years ago when he was on his externship at Jean-Georges. One night he got up, put his coat on and opened the bedroom door. I asked where he was going and he said he had to "inject baby tomatoes with a vinaigrette" at work. Uh....psycho! Ever since then I have been startled in the night to discover Erik talking about all sorts of food/work things. Sometimes I mess with him and tell him the purveyors never came and we are down two cooks. But sometimes I just say, "Don't worry TK [his counterpart chef] handled it".

So the latest in chefmumbles:

"I need dill and salsify"

Whatever, chef. I'm on it.

DCW_NYC

-H-