Speak Up

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Security in Marriage?

A reader of DCW just wrote to me and presented some thought provoking questions. She is a chef girlfriend and has concerns about her chef boyfriend's late night hours. Especially the time between closing time and his arrival back home. Does anyone else experience this chef time travel? Occasionally- meaning about once a month- Erik has dinner with some of the other chefs. Most nights though he's too tired to go out. Plus he's not much of a drinker at all. But I know some chefs like to get a drink or grab a bite before heading home and if there isn't enough trust built into the relationship-those hours can feel like an eternity.

Another question the reader brought up was that if she were married to her chef, "would there be more security?" Would her worries go away? I say NO WAY. If you have doubts before getting married those doubts will still be there no matter what a piece of paper says. But that certainly doesn't mean there isn't any hope. Trust, in my opinion, can be built and cultivated as long as both people in the relationship are willing to work and communicate.

What do you all feel about the idea of marriage creating a more secure relationship? Did things change when you got married? Were they easier? More trust? Less.

Food is Love,

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Cupcake Skulll

One of the many friends I've met via blogging, facebook and general interwebs is Jessica.  She blogs about her life as a newlywed chef's wife and culinary student. What a combo! Check her out at Chef in Training.

I saw her clever tattoo on Facebook and I had to share. For someone who will never get a tattoo I have a strange fascination with those relating to cooking.

 I just love the wooden spoon and whisk "cross bones". I asked Jessica about her tattoo....

When did you get your pastry skull tattoo?
I got my "cupcake skull" tattoo (as we call it) October 21st 2009

Do you have a name for it?
Not necessarily a name, just my cupcake skull

How did you think of it? Had you seen that design somewhere?
We (my chef and I) thought it up when he offered to do a sleeve or half sleeve, or something for me for going to culinary school. I wanted to do a skull and crossbones in honor of him. He is always pushing me to be better than I am, thus making me a great person. We decided to look around online a bunch for a "cupcake skull", however, a lot that we found were with a skull just sitting in the frosting, not what I envisioned. I have a friend who works at a reputable Tattoo place here in Omaha, so I came to him with the idea. His name is Seth and he works at Big Brain. I love how it turned out. I just went in with ideas of how I wanted the frosting to look, the bottom, and the whisk. I told him "just go home and look at your own wooden spoon" HA! Turned out better than I imagined, he is a talented artist.

Does your husband have any cooking related tattoos?
Ohh yea. He has many, I can ask him if I can photograph them for you, if you are interested.

Do you have any other tattoos?
The cupcake skull is my third. I have my sign (cancer) on my back between my shoulder blades and my daughter's name on my back also.

Do you get a lot of comments on it? I find it fascinating!
I do. This summer was the first time I was able to really show it off. I got tons of compliments on it. I had one guy at a fair call it a "bunny thing" which he was trying to get me to come to his booth. I ignored him, he is ignorant. I went to Branson over my birthday and I got tons of compliments down there. Mostly people tell me they have never seen anything like it. Which was really why I wanted it the way it is. Oh, and my husband's family loves it! Its funny to hear his grandma compliment it!

Any plans for more?
I have plans on finishing the sleeve however far we decide to go with it. I get ideas and pass them by my artist. He is very excited to do the next one. He is very glad that the whisk in my "skull and crossbones" is the only one that I want, he said it was very hard to make it thin enough and still fill it in with the gray. My next tattoo is one that my chef found, its a memorial tattoo for the baby we lost, it will be a matching tattoo for us. Trust me, I will post pictures of the work I have done as its done. Also, its funny that I like tattoos so much, I hate needles but the end result is very worth it. It just feels like a bad sunburn.

In the vague future I'd like to share Jessica's chef's tattoos but this post is all about her!

Other tattoo posts:
Tattoo Chefs

Marks of a Chef

Food is Love,

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Wedding Ring

A fellow  (soon-to-be) chefwife and reader just emailed me and asked if I could write about the topic of wedding rings. Laura from Tahiti is planning a wedding and needs a little help. Her soon-to-be chef husband is saying he can't wear his wedding band to work. What are your experiences with this?

It's been nearly 5 years since I had the very same conversation with Erik. He also said he wouldn't be able to wear his band at work. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I pretty much told Erik he had to wear it. Looking back, I wish I had a little more tact when approaching the matter. But after all, it's a public symbol of our marriage, love, and commitment to each other. He has worn it ever since the day I put it on his finger and never had a problem cooking with it. Although it did fall off his hand when he was swimming in Long Island Sound a few summers ago. After borrowing a little kid's pair of goggles, he found it! The water wasn't clear either!  What a miracle.

Should a chef have to wear his wedding band at work? Would the argument change if the chef were a wife with an cumbersome diamond on her finger?

Food is Love,