His visits are rare, but the kids love him. No, I'm not talking about Santa Claus, I'm talking about chefs. This Santa Claus Effect is running rampant in my house. Erik has been traveling all year, with this summer being the most of it. He's been in Japan for 5 days and he has another 5 to go. He'll come home with presents for kids and their hearts will melt for their daddy. Meanwhile in the real world I'm buried in laundry, punching my time card teaching first grade, and running this circus all on my own. My son actually told me today that Daddy does more work. Ouch. Maverik, my five year old, said "Well, sometimes you watch tv". Ah! Of course Erik watches TV too, but it's at 2 am so the kids don't see.
I shouldn't be surprised. After all, no one thanks the elves on Christmas morning.
Food is Love,
Hilary
This blog is a place for wives, girlfriends, significant others, and anyone else stuck to a chef to come together and chirp to each other about how to deal with the nonsense that goes along with being the wife of a chef. I was struggling to live with a ghost of a husband who I never saw until I met two other chefs' wives that saved me. It was then that I realized there must be more who need love and support too, right? Hilary, First Lady Desperate Chefs'Wives instagram @hilarya25
Speak Up
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Friday, February 27, 2015
"Good Cop, Bad Cop" or "Good Cop, Mom"
Ever since Adam and Eve first disciplined little Cain and Able, parenting roles have been split into two groups: good cops and bad cops. In my house however, the roles are most aligned to good cop and mom. I'm always the bad cop.
All week long I'm saying, "No, you can't watch TV tonight...hang up your coat... I'm sorry if you don't like the potatoes, but that's whats for dinner...NO biting! (insert hot sauce into toddlers mouth)...Did you wash your hair yet?...Blow your nose...harder...harder.
Then there is the chefhusand who only sees the kids on Sundays and gets to say fun things like, "Let's go to lunch...Of course we can wrestle...Who wants dessert?...Sure, I'll build Legos...You want to watch another show?
I know I will always be more of the heavy with the kids, and I'm fine with that. After all, I'm a teacher- I basically study children all day long. I have an understanding of what I expect from my boys and I know how to get it. But we have to be able to draw the line somewhere. I know that Erik feels guilty for not spending time with the boys more. I get that. But he can't undo all my hard work in one short day. I actually think the best fix for this would be for us to switch roles-if only one day a week. The kids need to see Erik has an authority and they also need to see me as a fun mom. I take care of the kids all week and then have to be the disciplinarian on top of that. Erik needs a slice of that. I can't have all the fun. ;-)
I'd love any ideas that work for your families.
Food is love,
Hilary
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Here We Go Again
It's been just about one year since I've last entered my thoughts, fears, and struggles here; but alas, it's time I come back. I started the blog in order to come together with other women who felt as if their husbands and boyfriends were like passing ships in the night. Then I stopped writing because, honestly, I ran out of things to write about. I worked my tail off adjusting, revising, and throwing the drawing board out the window when it comes to my husband and me. We were in a good place. Over the past month or so though I've struggled with Erik's new 6-day a week schedule, complete with longer hours and a very tired chefhusband. Oh, whatever shall I do? Well, duh, I came back here! You all have been so supportive of me as well as each other over the years and this writing serves as an outlet to my frustrations.
So, where are we?
In the past year, Erik has gotten a lot of great press for his "Levitating Uni" and since moved from the chef de cuisine at Morimoto NYC to the executive corporate chef of Starr Restaurants. And although that move is a great step in his career, it really changed things around here. He's worked corporate before and for me, it was great- weekends off, decent hours, and of course a Blackberry (hey, it was like 5 years ago). But Starr Restaurants is on a roll and it's taking my husband with him. He's working more hours, six-day weeks, and he sends work emails up until 3:30 in the morning. Erik is certainly stressed, but he loves his new position. He just wrapped up his stint at Upland with an incredible review by the NYT.
Blah blah blah though. I'm running myself ragged here raising wrangling two boys, working full time, and keeping my house managed. I feel like I did in the sophomore years of being a desperate chef's wife. Erik calls to tell me the latest who's who that ate at Upland- I roll my eyes. during the last Blizzard we spend the day at a friend's house and Erik had to go upstairs for an hour to take a conference call- ugh. He's going to London for a week- yipee.
Overall, things are going well. We are healthy and happy, but sometimes the day to day just drives me nuts.
Food is love,
Hilary
So, where are we?
In the past year, Erik has gotten a lot of great press for his "Levitating Uni" and since moved from the chef de cuisine at Morimoto NYC to the executive corporate chef of Starr Restaurants. And although that move is a great step in his career, it really changed things around here. He's worked corporate before and for me, it was great- weekends off, decent hours, and of course a Blackberry (hey, it was like 5 years ago). But Starr Restaurants is on a roll and it's taking my husband with him. He's working more hours, six-day weeks, and he sends work emails up until 3:30 in the morning. Erik is certainly stressed, but he loves his new position. He just wrapped up his stint at Upland with an incredible review by the NYT.
Levitating Uni
Overall, things are going well. We are healthy and happy, but sometimes the day to day just drives me nuts.
Food is love,
Hilary
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