Speak Up

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Creating a New Normal

Taking photos with giant veggies....this is normal.

In the movie Food Inc., there was a women who lost her young son due to E.Coli in a hamburger. She said something that stuck with me and I think we can all apply it to our lives-especially being married to chefs. She said that after losing her son, she didn't want pity. She had a hard time dealing with but she "created a new normal". Our lives aren't really normal, especially those of us who have chefs who work late nights and holidays. We don't have the lives that society says are normal so we have to accept that and normalize what we do have. A normal weekend becomes Sunday Monday, a normal Valentine's day is days before or after the actual holiday, and married mother's feel like single moms.

A commenter, Allie, wondered how I could possibly keep my mind of Erik working so much just because I'd be away in Cape Cod. Well, that's easy-that's my normal. Being without Erik is pretty normal for me, but being without him so long is really tough. Keeping busy with my own things seems to really help during times like these. This is especially true since I only see my family twice a year. (they live in Columbus, Ohio)

So, make a new normal for your life. Our lives are like no one else's and it's better to embrace what we have then focus on what we don't. And I hope I don't sound to much like an overpaid life coach, because I just want to share what helps me.

Food is Love,


Unknown said...

Good post. And I agree with you. If you make the chefwife life your normal, it's much easier to keep things in perspective. And all the more rewarding when the chef says he wants to spend his only night off during the week just with you.
Laura, Reno

LA RN said...

Very good thoughts. One of the first things my chef and I agreed on was that we would never pressure each other to celebrate a holiday or anniversary/birthdays on the ACTUAL day. One of the great things about this is that we never go out on Valentine's/New Years etc. and we don't have to deal with crowds. (Noah calls holidays "rookie nights" at restaurants!) I love having Sunday/mondays off with my chef because the crowds are less. So going out on a Friday night is definitely NOT normal to us!

And I love to go on solo trips when I know he can't go. Of course they would be much more fun if he was there but it makes me happy and he's happy that I'm happy!

Keep up the good work Hillary!