Be My Guest!

Come one come all, my blog is your blog. Thanks to a couple of ladies who've suggested I invite guest bloggers I'm happy to open my blog to you all. There are no particular themes-please write about whatever you'd like. Chefs, restaurants, recipes, children, dating, Thanksgiving, anything! Email me your stuff (photos welcome) and I'll post it here.

desperatechefswives@gmail.com

On a side note, Erik has Thanksgiving off! I am shocked to find out he doesn't have to work, which is great because on Friday morning he's leaving for Hawaii for three weeks. He'll be back on the 21st just two days before I leave for Ohio. ...like ships passing in the night...

I'm thankful for web cams, email, and cell phones. I'll miss my husband, but I'm happy he's spending some cold months in the eighty degree weather on a tropical island. After all, if he's going to be working 12+ hours a day 6 days a week, then the seventh day might as well be spend on the beach.

I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving filled with food, family and friends.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Always A Reason Why

I've written over 400 posts on this blog since it started about two and half years ago. I'm really proud of this blog too. But clearly, something is going on that's preventing me from writing as much as I used to. I hate it. The same ideas are not flowing through me anymore and I've really been asking myself, "well, why?". I used to fluff the question off assuming that I've simply run out of ideas. The more I think about it though I know that's only a half truth. My best guess is that I feel less connected to Erik's career.

It even feels hard to write that. But it's true. Erik worked for Jean-Georges since he started as a cook, still in culinary school. Jean-Georges was the front runner above all over fine dining chefs and restauratuers in my mind. I idolized him. And why not? I watched as my husband quickly fell in love with a career and lifestyle through the school of Jean-Georges. As Erik was training and learning I was reading the same blogs that all the industry people and foodies do-belonging to neither group. I was going along for the ride and loving every minute of it. I labeled myself first not as a friend, wife, or woman, but as a chef's wife.I even considered making the label permanent with a chefwife tattoo. I don't even like tattoos. When the Bragard uniform catalogue came in the mail I would quickly turn to the page of Jean-George and sigh in gratitude that he was taking care of us-mind it in a far distant way.

Things are different now. Not only does Erik work for a new company, in a new position but I've become less connected to what he's doing. I still turn through the Bragard catalogue to see Laurent Tourondel there, but it's not the same. I just don't ask about employee drama anymore, I've stopped reading the blogs altogether, and I see myself now as a unique person first, chefwife, friend and sister later. I do also have to say that when Erik joined BLT it was 24 hours before I knew I was pregnant so I'm sure that has something to do with it too.

I am still completely 100% supportive of my husband-just not wrapped up and overwhelmed in his work. Before he travels I get all of the hotel information for him such as: do they have a gym...laundry service...shuttle to the airport...shuttle to the restaurant...? Really though, that's also for me to have a little peace of mind. I eat at the BLT restaurants and ask lots of questions about this new restaurant group. I still stand tall when people ask, "What does your husband do?".

What does all of this mean for the Desperate Chefs' Wives? I am still completely committed to the connections I've made with other wives and girlfriends. I would love for the blog to last forever, but I am struggling to write since it's not on the forefront of my mind anymore. And now that I've been direct with you-what will you think of me?

Food is Love,
Hilary

Depression

I had no idea how many wives and girlfriends were concerned about their chef's emotional well being. When I posted the last entry I expected advice to come flooding in from you all, but instead I learned that run down, worn out, depressed chefs are more common that I thought. After reading all of the comments it seems like most of these men are suffering from exhaustion. Keep in mind that I don't know any of these people, only what has been shared with us on this blog. But I do think that depression is a characteristic of over worked chefs that no one is interested in writing about. We've read all about chefs and how much they love to eat and drink after hours. They've been called womanizers and drug addicts and their lives have been glamorized as such. But behind the closed doors of our homes, these chefs are struggling to become something great and make a living to support themselves and loved ones all while cooking, prepping, hiring, firing, ordering and receiving.

My advice? Well, I'm not an expert but I do have a perspective that I think might help some. I think there are some questions that need to be asked. For instance, is there a purpose to all of the work? Line cooks and even sous chefs will work very hard, but if the goal is to become an executive chef and work up through the ranks of a restaurant, then keep at it. There will come a time when the long nights get slightly shorter and the payoff will come. But if the goal is to cook and go home, then there is no reason to work in an environment that isn't conducive to a healthy emotional life. Also, who is training your chef? If these men are working under a 4 star executive chef with a lot of knowledge available, then keep at it. But working under a chef that isn't willing to train and guide isn't worth any sort of heartache or pain.

Talk to your chefs. Tell them how worried and scared you are that they are too overworked to enjoy life. I know my concerns often come out as nagging, so I have to work very hard to make sure that I express myself in a loving way-not an angry way. And let me tell you-I'm still working on it.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Wanted: Some Serious Advice

Okay ladies, we have a fellow chef wife in need of our advice and support. She left a comment that leaves me concerned. I know the best hearts and minds in the world have crossed this blog, so I know we can help this woman in need.

Hello Hilary and all,

I'm so desperate for help, and I know this is totally off topic from sushi. But like I said, I'm desperate for help.

I believe my partner is suffering from depression and/or exhaustion from his job. He is the head chef in a new restaurant that is less than a year old. He is working close to 20 hours a day, 5 days a week.

He said he has seen a doctor, but he is still reluctant to tell me what happened. Until he is ready to tell me, I have no idea what to do.

Can anyone please, please give me some advice. What do I say? What do I do? Who do I talk to?

Food is Love,
Hilary

Sushi Etiquette

I've been to several sushi restaurants ranging from buffet style to 3 star Manhattan fine dining to grocery store selections complete with plastic green grass. As one of the most popular Japanese foods here in the states, it's surprising that most people, including myself, have no idea the proper way to eat the fish filled rolls. For instance, I always dipped my sushi rice side down in the soy sauce, but I guess I've been doing it wrong all of these years. Oh! And don't even think about leaving your chopsticks in your rice bowl. Check out this website to find out why and read a complete How To on Sushi Eating.

Thanks to Jerry for bringing this link to my attention.

For a listing of Sushi restaurants in Canada please click here.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Pasta Marathon

Not, not a sprint towards the nearest Olive Garden -it's the NYC Marathon-powered by Barilla pasta. I always heard that carbs were good before a long workout-and there's no workout like a 26.2 mile run through New York City. Barilla pasta has provided a pasta dinner for 15,000 runners for the past 5 years. You know Barilla, they are the pasta company with those absolutely romantic commercials set in well decorated apartments and villas. On Saturday night 7,000 pounds of pasta will be cooked up and served at Tavern on the Green in Central Park. Lorenzo Boni, executive chef of Barilla Pasta will be heading the event preparing Barilla Tri Color Rotini Pasta, Barilla Cellentani with Artichokes,and Baked Barilla Piccolini® Mini Ziti with Roasted Vegetables and Ricotta Cheese. Lorenzo is a true Italian too, raised in Bologna, Italy and trained all over the country.

The dinner will begin at 4:30 PM on Saturday, October 31 and tickets are on sale for runners as well as the general public for $25. They can be purchased starting today at the Jacob Javits Convention Center. So if you're not into dressing up like Jon and Kate Gosselin or dancing to the Monster Mash this year, head on over to Tavern on the Green for some delicious pasta dishes.

Good luck to all the runners!

Food is Love,
Hilary

Great Gathering of Chefs, Battman!

Alan Batt, aka Battman released his latest two books today at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in NYC. The Great Gathering of Chefs was just that having chefs from all over sign 100 copies of the books Small Things Savory and Small Things Sweet. They feature stunning photography and recipes from some of the greatest chefs and restaurants in the city. Such notables included Greg Brainin from Jean-Georges, Craig Koketsu from Park Avenue Winter, George Mendes from Aldea, and my husband, Erik representing Perry Street.

The event raised money for Action Against Hunger, an agency designed specifically to battle global hunger. Al Gore is working with the organization to create another documentary, No Hunger. Visit AskAlGore.org for more information. Since Erik is working for BLT currently, but signed books next to his Perry St photo, he was lucky enough to sit with his BLT coworkers. There was even an seat empty next to Erik so I helped pass the books along the signing assembly line. That is of course after I got a taste of a duck hot dog from the d'artagnan station. I'm in love with duck hot dogs now. MMMFood is Love,

Hilary

POM Wonderful, with Caffeine!

I was sent a couple more packages from the folks at POM Wonderful. The first one was a new iced coffee drink. No, no, no, it doesn't taste like pomegranate. But like their line of pomegranate juices, it has tons of antioxidants,not to mention hormone free milk, organic sugar cane, and no preservatives. Since I'm preggers I can't really drink the stuff but Erik was more than willing to test out the new drinks. Those adorable bulbous containers really pack a punch. Erik was caffeinated after finishing and also like drinking it. I took a little taste too of the chocolate flavor and it didn't taste like it was mixed with a "chocolate" concoction, but real milk chocolate. Tasty.

The second package POM sent was two new juice flavors. It was the regular pomegranate juice with nectarine and kiwi flavors added. I definitely liked drinking them, again in those adorable bulbous containers. But I think I like the original pomegranate better. However, if the pure pomegranate juice is a bit too strong for you, then the kiwi or nectarine is perfect. It doesn't taste watered down, just less strong.

No matter what they put out, I just love the POM line of drinks.

Food is Love,
Hilary







Check out their website at Healthybuzz.com or pomwonderful.com

The Chef is Back

Finally!! Erik came home last Sunday and I've been just elated ever since. We went to dinner at Locanda Verde and it was amazing. There is nothing like my Sunday dinners with Erik. The first thing he said when I picked him up at the airport..."you're huge!" Some people thought that was insulting, but I couldn't be more pleased with the compliment. I'm 16 weeks and I felt the baby moving last night! Erik was excited too, but he was also half asleep. Hopefully baby Battes will do an encore performance soon.

While Erik was away it seems he really got into the groove of his new job. I get the impression that he has more value there as an employee than before. And his new company has a PR firm, Bullfrog and Baum (one of the best) that sets Erik up with all sorts of promo events. I don't know how other chefs feel about promotions. And actually I don't really know Erik feels since he hasn't done that many. On Monday, he'll be cooking with other restaurants at and Autism Speaks event in the financial district. On the 18th he'll be signing Battman's new book: Small Things Savory, at The Great Gathering of Chefs. He'll sign next to the mozzarella he made way back when at Perry St. That may be slightly weird since he's not representing Perry St anymore, but I think it will be fun and Battman even said I can come! I love these events. I hope to bump into my promo event buddy Wylie Dufresne; he is probably the nicest chef I've ever met. Oh, and Erik is taking a class from the Gohan Society: Mastering Fish the Japanese Way.

There is so much going on but it all feels right. I'm so glad to have my chef back.

Food is Love,
Hilary

Guest Blogger

I was honored to be asked by ChefWidow to guest blog on her site while she was at Disney with her family. I wrote about the fears I have of becoming a mother and all that comes with it. Check it out.

An except:

"Maybe I’m just a 26-year-old, scared-as-hell, soon-to-be mom with an individuality complex? Perhaps it’s selfishness. I do expect to be giving up my weekly dinner dates in New York with my husband-but only if I can trade them in for Sunday family meals. "

Also, check out the other guest bloggers who rocked the blog this week.

Food is Love,

Hilary