I Take It All Back

I miss this nonsense. 

Everything I said about being without Erik this long  and things going "swimmingly" must have been written on some sort of park and sunshine euphoric high. I take it all back, every keystroke I typed. I hate this. And this could be some sort of emotional melt down at a weak moment for me, but I just feel like this industry is such a monster. It's the meanest bad guy bogeyman that ever came out from under my bed. I'm so aggravated with the complete uuber saturation of food media-especially on the Internet. I've got half a mind to delete all my links to food websites, but I suppose they go along with the theme of this blog. 

What type of job forces someone to work 100 hours a week for two weeks in a row? Which today is the first day  of restaurant week in NYC. Oh happy day. This is insane. Hello, food industry I'm talking to you. You're a jerk! All the "fame", press and otherwise BS is not worth all of this. Not for what Erik's making. And you know, not even for millions. Because no matter what the check says, my husband is still coming home after 1 AM every night looking like a shell of a man. Chefs are feeding the world, while unknowingly being eaten alive themselves. 

It's not the being alone part that's killing me, which is what I feared before this double thing happened. I've been busy with park days, picnics, online shopping, bike rides and cooking. (Yes, I cooked: pasta with shrimp and a butter garlic lemon sauce-which tastes great but looks like old yogurt.) But I need some companionship in my life and the cats ain't doing it! I never knew how connected I was with Erik until I started feeling disconnected. Keep in mind, this is a man I've known since before he even was a man. I've been holding hands, telling secrets, and leaning on Erik for nearly 12 years. I suppose I'll never grow out of the hopelessly romantic puppy love stage. 

Now, at this point I'm worried I'm losing readers. You might be thinking, "Oh boy, she's off her rocker. I wonder what's going on at eater.com? " Don't abandon me just yet. I'm sure it's just a phase. Eventually, I'll change my facebook status from "I hate Jean Georges" to "I love my chef". I can't believe I wrote that I hate JG. It's amazing how fast our moods can make us do such silly things. Speaking of silly things I've suddenly got the urge to spend money. This is so unlike me. I'm working (quite hard in therapy actually) to convince myself that I do deserve new things. Like last week, I saw this AMAZING Tory Burch "thalie" tote with a gold chain in the 33% off rack at Saks AND it had already been marked down 33%. I convinced myself not to get it, went home, then came back a couple days later with all he will in the world to spend a couple hundred on a purse, and sure enough it wasn't there. If that wasn't God rolling his eyes saying, "shoulda coulda" to me, then I don't know anything. It's like I know I'm getting the crap of a bad deal and buying something might redeem some of this nightmare. 

Back to the lecture at hand: I'm miserable. But tomorrow will be better. I already feel better talking about this hell week. 

It's 9:33 and I at least have a plan. I'm going to put on my pajamas, start my new book since I finished The Julie/Julia project and LOVED it. (inspired to make previously mentioned lumpy garlic butter sauce.)

Food is Love, 

Hilary 

Need Me!

I feel like a old Korean Tang Soo Do 당수도 instructor. Let me explain, please. I have been given the most wonderful opportunity to advise, relate to, and comfort wives of chefs from all over the world using this blog. But what happens when the chefswives I know have mastered their relationships and no long need me (or this blog) anymore? What happens when the chef's new schedule gives him nights and weekends off and his chefwife no longer surfs the web for answers, but has dinner with her chef? I'm so jealous. The student no longer needs the teacher.

I want you all to be happy with rich, rewarding, meaningful relationships. But I also want to be needed. Who doesn't?

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

This Is It

I wanted to include a list of blogs written by women for women to the sideline of this website. I thought that giving us some more options as far as support would be an added bonus to the growing support we have for each other here. I googled "blogs for wives" and guess what I found. THIS BLOG! This is a great resource for women and I'm pleased to be bringing you all together. Made. My Day.

I love you all!
DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Computer Nightmare

Since I have the rights to www.desperatechefswives.com it's my responsibility to keep the website going. Well, let me tell you about my Sunday evening nightmare. I've been getting email reminders that I need to renew my domain registration. BUT I DID! And I have the receipt for it too. So I thought nothing of it until my website was shut down and it was taken over by some scamming search engine with my blog name! I was fuming! So I tried about a million ways to get the website back and nothing was working. I was in such a rage that I threw my laptop on the floor (trying to prove I was mad, not trying to actually do any damage) and now it won't turn on!! I am freaking out! Meanwhile, the website is back on, I guess google finally got it together. I am so grateful that Erik bought the Mac I'm typing on now. I'm bringing my laptop to the school's IT guy tomorrow and hopefully it will be ready by the weekend. If I had no computer...I'd probably suffer miserably. Luckily, I've got my iPhone, just in case. 

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

Battes Kitchen Photo Tour

A chefwife commented on the Angus beef chart in my kitchen so I thought I'd give you a little tour of my kitchen and all of the things the chefs and I have got hanging out in there. 

I wrote about my husband's addiction to plastic wrap a while ago, but it bears repeating. This chef-and most I know- are mesmerized by plastic wrap in large quantities. Behind this 3000 square feet of boxed plastic wrap is an even large box of aluminum foil. 

This is MY most favorite part of the kitchen. My mom has had so many vintage bread boxes over the years that I've caught on to her love of bread containers. She bought me this one last year. Thanks, mom. 

Oh, the Boos Block. You know I wanted to buy a cutting board for-e-ver, but Erik only wanted a certain kind. The glass ones are "dangerous", the plastic ones are "cheap" and finally we bought this one...it was only like 40 bucks and I'm pretty sure it supposed to last about 350 years. 

We went to The Container Store in last January after my mom bought us a gift certificate last year for Christmas. Erik picked out these clever little containers that hold spices and are magnetic. The only thing is, Erik doesn't cook with dry herbs or spices! He won't buy fresh herbs because they are too much money at the grocery store but he says dried herbs are poor quality. Well then what are we doing with magnetic spice holders?! But now we keep wine corks in them, so it's all worked out. Also you'll see in this shot two leaves my sister sent me from Texas and a cigar someone gave Erik at Perry St.

This coconut man collection started back in California when a gymnast I was coaching and working with went to Florida and bought me the pirate coconut man in the middle. Then we bought one on the left in the Carribbean. THe one on the right- I have no idea where that came from, but I think it's also a piggy bank. 

This beef chart was drawn free-hand by my very own husband on this awesome HUGE, framed chalkboard from HomeGoods. He was inspired to draw the bovine based on a postcard from BLT Prime. He spent all day on it and I think it came out very...accurate. 

Below you'll see a tiny chef that I bought for Erik from a street vendor in London back in 02. He's a little rusty now, but I bought it when Erik was in culinary school so it brings me back to a much different time in our lives. 

Erik's mom gave us this wine holder and I love him! He's so sophisticated with his mustache and toque. 

Last Christmas my aunt Caralee have me this nutcracker chef. I guess when people know you're married to a chef they give you all kinds of chef related items. Oh, I forgot to take a picture of my kitchen towels that my mom bought for me. They've got an outline of a chef on them in black thread. 

This pressure cooker had made many a meal since we bought it. It's not like the kind my grandma used to use-its electric. All you do is put some beans, meat, salt and pepper in this bad boy and out comes a meal! 

I hope you enjoyed this walk through my kitchen. I had a fine time writing this; I seemed to have forgotten about most of the things in the kitchen. There are so many more things with sentimental value in here than I thought. 

DCW_NYC

-Hilary-

ChitChat

I have a screen name if anyone would like to chat. I use ichat but I think its compatible with most other messaging services. My screen name? You guessed it: desperatechefswives

DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

First Annual Chef Wife Picnic!!!

Thanks for pushing me on this ladies! I'm very excited for this gathering of wives!

When: Saturday August 16 1:30 pm-whenever

Where: Central Park, NYC, Sheep's Meadow -Closer to 66th, southwest corner-ish

Who: All chefs wives, and DCW blog readers, and their children

What to bring: Bring your own picnic supplies, feel free to bring more than enough to share, any picnic materials you like: food, blanket, basket, cooler, music, sunglasses, camera, whatever!

No RSVP needed (it wouldn't hurt though) but if you're thinking about coming email me for my phone number so you can call/text if you can't find me. I'll be sitting on a ridiculously dated 80s green bed sheet.

Of course, if the weather doesn't permit I'll reschedule for Saturday the 23rd as soon as I can. If you're coming from far-don't forget to check the weather.

I'm looking forward to meeting you, chatting, munching, laughing, and chirping on about who we love most, those chefs.

Taking Over the World

Nothing to do with this topic, but doesn't this porterhouse from BLT Prime look stunning?

It was!

As I'm catching typos on my site thanks to my brilliantly-eagle-eyed -grammar -dictator husband I stopped to really look at the title of this blog. I started calling it the Desperate Chefs' Wives of NYC because that's where the only chefswives I knew lived. But soon after this blog got going I was able to meet women all over the country and even the world. Just take a look at the map on the right. So I've dropped the "NYC" and thus broadened our horizons. I really can't believe how many people found us! I am so lucky to have met all of you and you each have such amazing stories and great advice. I'm even starting to get confused because I only know most of you by an email, a myspace page, or a clever pseudonym.





[As far as membership goes I hate to say that two people have emailed me saying they dumped their chefboyfriends! One of whom caught scandalous emails. I hate to see them go, but I'm sure they made the right decision. It can be so hard to walk away from something that although hurtful, is comfortable. So, bravo ladies!]


I have got in-laws coming in later this week so I'm going to try my best to be on top of emails and posts and such. But you know how it goes. I love when family comes because we get to eat our more. Perry St and Spice Market-yay!


PS. I've got a contest on the way so keep checking the blog!
DCW_NYC
-Hilary-

Wives Unite!

the river that divides us

Ok, enough is enough. I am embarrassed to say that I've only met up with ONE other chefwife via this (amazing) blog. So, we need to get together. I don't even know exactly how many of you there are in the NYC area. And are Saturdays good for most? We have so much to talk about...IN PERSON! And between all of us I'm sure there are tons of places that would love to have us at their bar in a primo location. We need to pump up this group's success to make this clan of women more well known and powerful in Manhattan. Ooh, maybe we could even do a BYOP (picnic) day when it gets warmer.



Suggestions? Ideas? Hate it?

DCW_NYC
-Hilary

Not JUST for ChefsWives!

I want to reiterate that on the DCW blog, ALL are welcome. Of course this blog is designed with the chefwife in mind-I know for a fact that there are foodies, chefs, and other non-wives who participate on this blog. I'd like to extend a cyber hand to Restaurant Bride (whose husband is a restaurant manager) and let her know that she is more than welcome to share her woes with us. Her most interesting and informational comment was left on the post "Welcome to the Chefs Wives Club".

RB wants to know if it is unhealthy for her to dream about the restaurant burning down (sans the victims). I don't care if it's unhealthy-it's what we do!

I think we can learn something from women married to managers since the experience many of the same difficulties as us as well as some new ones. Looking forward to it!

DCW_NYC
-H-

PS: RB, where does your hubby work? If you can say...if not, email me! desperatechefswives@gmail.com

T Shirt Orders!

Much love to my mother-in-law for giving the logo a boost and now it's off the t shirt factory!

I am going to keep the cost as low as I can while still bringing you the best quality t shirt ever. FYI: I'm not trying to make money here.

The shirt:

white, sizes: small, medium, large and XL, 100% cotton, Jersey t, WOMEN'S style-this shirt is made for the ladies!

Premium 100% ringspun cotton gives this stylish tee a gentle hand that has won the hearts of thousands of women. Designed to find the middle ground between a boxy men's tee and a fitted fashion tee, our classic is cut for maximum comfort and a true women's fit. The tight jersey knit fabric has excellent coverage for no "show through," providing confidence at work or play. The soft texture of Queensboro Digital Printing is a perfect complement to this comfy creation. Don't settle for a plastic logo on a scratchy, boxy tee. Put your logo or design on a form-flattering shirt that you'll enjoy wearing at a genuine value price.

Sounds good right? I know you want one! Or two, or three...etc!

So, to order a shirt follow these simple steps!

1. Email me at desperatechefswives@gmail.com to place the order. I'll need you phone number, address, name, quantity and sizes needed.

2. I'll email you back to confirm that I go it and give you my address to send payment. (CHECK is best, but cash will do if you want to send it)

The cost will be $16.00.

3. Once I get your shirt, I will mail it ASAP via USPS Priority Mail.

Don't give me a check that is going to bounce. I'm not a shop, I'm just a wife trying to make some other chefswives happy. If I get any funny business, I'll kick you out of this exclusive club. Haha...now that I said that.

Thanks for ordering! I cannot wait to get the shirts out!

OH and ONE more thing! The orders must be in no later than FEBRUARY 14th! (Easy to remember, right?)

THANKS!

DCW_NYC

-H-

Another DCW Interview

So my newest DCW member and author of the Gourmet Girl Mysteries, Jessica Park did a great interview with me. I had such a fabulous time answering the questions so check it out on her blog!

http://conantpark.typepad.com/blog/

By the way, I just finished her first book in the mystery series Steamed and I could not put it down. I was literally reading while I was driving. It was that good. I think my chef might even read it now, but probably not in public. Macho chefs don't exactly want to be seen reading a chick lit. Again, I highly recommend the series to keep your culinary-food scene-drama going, not that you need it.

DCW_NYC

-H-

The Wives Want Shirts

You've spoken, or voted rather and I'll fulfill your need for t-shirts as soon as I can. I would love to get the logo on the shirt, but it needs a little fine tuning if its going to be blown up.

And now some complaining: I am so lucky to have a chef who gets two days off each week: Sunday and Monday. So as a teacher I am even more fortunate to be able to have quite a bit of Mondays off myself. And wouldn't you know, this Monday is Martin Luther King Day. I had a great TWODAY weekend with my chefhusband planned but it's also the beginning of restaurant week in NYC. So, as the story goes, this chefwife will be again home alone so the chef can make the bridge and tunnel foodies happy for a night. Sigh.