Speak Up

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Somewhere between California and New York....Kansas I think.

It seems as though the subject of moving is quite serious and surprisingly important to chefswives. After all, the success of their careers is oftentimes dictated by the city they live in. And you know they can't live without us. I'm not sure if anyone besides me would be willing to share their feelings of resentment towards their chefs for "making them" move.

I know I suffered the first year I live in NY. I hated it here. I hated being far from my family, I hated having not a single friend AND being left alone each night that Erik was working the line. "Why did I move here?...This is all his fault....I'm miserable". Oh yeah, I had some deep resentment, and I still do. I'd like to think that if Erik's job wasn't restraining him to NYC that we'd live on a small 15 acre farm outside of Columbus, Ohio. We'd spend long weekend with my family, host wiener roasts and canoe trips. The state of my dream life, though vivid, is still a dream.

I the end, I love where we live now and I'm pleased with my decisions to move to NY with Erik. Being married to a chef comes with so many things, one of them being a one way ticket to WhereHeWantsToLive-ville.

Knowing all of the heartache I suffered the first year out here I don't think I'd change a thing. And tomorrow if Jean-Georges offered Erik a job in Europe, I'd go. In a heartbeat.



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Anonymous said...

while i myself am not a chefwife, i love the concept of this site :)
snaps sistas

NikkiBee said...

3 times and counting - I love it though, I am a vagabond at heart so it works.

Anonymous said...

For me right now, it's more about having to STAY here right now, because he's settled in his career and the restaurant that he is in now, that even if I wanted to pick up and move, we can't. And right now, I feel as if I'd have more opportunities if I were to move to a larger city like New York. But try getting any chef to just, high and dry, move to NY without any guarantees... it's not gonna happen...

lonestarstudent said...

Yes, I have moved for my chef. And yes, I too have been resentful. 4 cities in under 3 years-I couldn't get a good job. No one wanted to hire me because they thought I was unstable. I left one city where I had a good job with great benefits only to move to a city where I had to work two jobs (and hated them both) just to come close to the salary I had before.

I appreciate my life now as I have just accepted a job that I am thrilled about...but if I have to leave this job before I'm ready, I will be just a little bit bitter.