Speak Up

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Chef Wife Husband (The Simple Definition)


Chef Wife Husband – (noun) – a chef in a relationship with – although not necessarily married to – a chef wife. Usually has only one career, but spends what little time he has outside of work trying to make his chef wife happier and more tolerant of how much time he is spending at work. Understands terms such as: “sacrifice”, “hard work”, and “sleep deprivation”. Doesn’t understand but deals with concepts like: chef wives constant complaining about how much they work, the general assumption that we work holidays by choice (and do it just to spite them), the complaints of having cheap and quickly prepared meals after working a 16 hour days (We don’t ask you to continue to do your jobs when you get home after working for only half as long as we have), chef wives’ general feeling of “if you are only awake for 1 hour per day outside of work, then you better do everything in your power to make it the greatest hour of my life”, and the always prevalent entitled attitude. After all, aren’t we working this hard so we can become “big deals” and create a better life for the both of us?


written by the chef himself.

9 comments:

Sloan said...

I love this blog...everything on here is SO TRUE!

Sloan said...

oh, i forgot to mention. i used a couple of your ideas for my blog. if you want me to i can change it but i thought yours was so cute. i looked for some pictures but the knife with the ring was the only one i liked!

Anonymous said...

So glad you created this blog! I have been a chefwife (married) for 26 years and can honestly say no one understands except another chefwife. I even thought I created the term but of course I didn't because we all endure the same wacky living arrangements. My favorite comment after people learn my husband is a chef is, "How lucky, he must cook for you every night". Sure. I will say this, he taught me how to cook. Also, my first career was in the hospitality industry (hotel catering) so I do understand the time demands - even if no one else around me does. Hang in there everyone! These are creative, hard working men (& women!) and the world would be bland without them.

ChefWife said...

Welcome! 26 years- I would imagine you have a lot of advice for us all! Share your secrets to a long marriage!

Anonymous said...

I've been wondering how to give hints for a long marriage without sounding like a know-it-all. Every marriage has its own personality and quirks, so I can only comment on what my chef and I have found to work for us. I hope this is helpful.The first thing is I really like my husband, we're good friends. We can't always be hot and passionate,(darn), and we can't always be discussing bills, so we fall back on friendship. That leads to understanding when we miss those things that will be missed because of his schedule. I also know that my food knowledge helps too - it gives us common ground. I ask about menus he's creating and have some understanding of what he describes.I'm a good cook now because of my chef - he taught me. So I'd say, ask your spouse to teach you to cook-show you want to share their passion; subscibe to "Bon Appetit" and educate yourself; read restaurant reviews and rent "Babette's Feast", "Big Night" and "Tortilla Soup". Then take him on a date and go roller skating - in a rink with all the middle schoolers!

diana said...

Wow, this blog is preaching to the choir. I've been married to a chef for 20years, we have 4 children and nobody could understand...except you guys.he's never home on holidays and cooking is the last thing he wants to do when he gets home. I just wrote a piece, Five Reasons Not To Marry A Chef...Unless You Love Him at www.hampoland.com

roberta said...

Hi everyone there! Confratulations to Hilary for creating this blog. I feel moved to have found you and I will be certainly be in touch! I have been married to a chef for 17 years. I already know you understand me better than anyone else regarding how difficult it is to keep up with a chef's schedule. We don't have children and I believe this is because of his job. I mean, we were having problems when we were trying but we could never dedicated the right time and energies to solve the problem because we were moving (and still are) from one place to another one. So I am a chef's wife and an expatriate in the same time, following my husband where its contracts bring him: how difficult this can be if you want to keep a strong identity and a good marriage? Only you can say. I agree with the Anonymous that a common ground would be very important to keep you close. I personally love food, worked in the industry and I do share a lot with him. I am obliged to if I want to meet him, so sometimes I become his secretary when it comes to translating his menus, for exemple, into English. By asking me he shows trust and by doing it I show I want to be part of his world.
Love to everybody, keep it up!
Roberta

PS I have just opened my blog also called thechefswife-roberta (I was looking for my blog when I found you)where I will be posting my own recipes and telling a little bit about the world that round aver me.
Thanks for visiting.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! I feel like I don't have to bitch to my friends anymore who just don't get it. My husband of 6 years has moved us 5 times in the last 6 years. I am now in Vegas, for the 2nd time in 6 years. Horrible hours, no time off, no holidays together, and lower salaries then my teacher friends. I DON'T GET IT. All it does is annoy my husband to no end when I question all this. I hope to find a lot of comfort in all of you.

roberta said...

Welcome Anonymous leaving in Las Vegas. I have done 10 international moves in 17 years, so I really know what you are talking about.
But it seems to me you are totally undergoing your husband choice to move, something that makes everything very difficult. Have you read Hilary post called Who wins Who looses? Very interesting!