And the Winner Is/My Blog is Dead

The book contest winner, by random selection is DCW_Jess! Congrats Jess, email me your address so I can forward it to the publisher. Jess won a new hardback book by Jane Green-Promises to Keep.

In other-yet related-news this blog is totally dead! This contest only had 2 applicants! TWO! I know I have not been keeping up with it. I am completely brain dead when it comes to new topics. I want to write because this blog has given me so much as far as friends and personal relief- but for the life of me, I just can't come up with new material. And I suppose in a way I should be grateful because my life seems, well, balanced now. I have less of a NEED to write to cure my own insanities. My husband is still working crazy hours, especially now with the opening of a new restaurant in lower Manhattan. He still travels at length, his next trip will be Chicago for 4 weeks in September. Even though my chefwife life is still the same, I'm more content with it. More able to attach the challenges as they come and accept the difficulties that come with the territory. I love my life, like I always have, but now it's more peaceful.

I'm not sure of the future of this blog...we'll see.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Book Giveaway!

The good people at Viking have a copy of Promises to Keep by Jane Green ready to send out to a lucky Desperate ChefsWives reader. I've already started this novel about love and friendship and can't wait to finish it- in between midnight feeding and diaper changes. Of course the female chef character is one of my favorites a fresh change from the saturation of male chef characters in books and television.

Jane Green has written 12 other novels, several of which made the New York Times bestseller lists. She'll be on tour this summer as well.

New York, NY- Upper East Side Barnes and Nobles: Tuesday, June 22- 7 PM

Charlotte, NC- Sykes Learning Center at Queens University: Thursday, June 24-6:30 PM

Pawleys Island, SC- Litchfield Books' Movable Feast- Friday, July 2-12 PM

From Jane Green's website:

Callie Perry has a pretty perfect life. It may not be everyone’s idea of happiness – her husband spends more time travelling for his job as a commercials director than he does at home – but it works for her. It gives her time to work – she is a successful family photographer – and be around for her two kids, and her friends. She lives in Bedford, New York, is beloved by all who know her, and wakes up every morning grateful for how happy she is.

Her younger sister, Steffi, the baby of the family, has never grown up. In her early thirties and the epitome of a free spirit, she’s never held down a job, or a boyfriend, for longer than six months. Her latest incarnation is as a vegan chef. She’s living with the latest unsuitable man, in a sixth floor walk up in Soho, and her parents have almost given up hope that she’ll ever learn what it is to be responsible.

Lila Grossman is Callie’s best friend. Single, she’s finally met the man of her dreams. Ed has a son she adores, a crazy ex-wife she doesn’t, and she finally feels ready to settle down. If, that is, their goals are the same.

And then there are Callie and Steff’s parents. Walter and Honor . Divorced for almost thirty years, they haven’t spoken for most of that time. They may share two grown-up daughters, but it is agreed by all who knew them, they share little else.

Until they all receive a shocking phone call that changes their lives forever, and brings them all together one short, snowy winter.

Promises to Keep is about the hard choices we sometimes have to make; about having to be a child, long after you’ve grown up, and mostly, about the enduring nature of love.

Want a hardback copy of your very own? Just leave a comment sharing what you look for in a friend. Common interests? Companionship? A pal to laugh with? A serious soul sister? I'll chose a winner randomly on Sunday, June 20 so submit before then! Good Luck!!

Food is Love,

Hilary

Eat Chicago

Chefwife, Sondra, from Minneapolis, wants to plan a surprise trip to Chicago for her husband. What a great idea by the way! Her dilemma is that she has no idea where to take him to eat. And I have to admit, I have no clue either. She's seeking our help here. Does anyone know of some great places to eat in the windy city? Or even better, do your husband or boyfriends know of any great places to eat? Sondra is a bright lady and knows that chefs are not easy to please and won't be satisfied with the local Olive Garden or Red Lobster. She is interested in really impressing her man with some respectable and delicious food.

Erik recently bought a cookbook from a place called Alinea in Chicago. They've got fantastic reviews and I know a group of chefs who flew to Chicago just to eat there. That's a start-but it's all I've got-until I talk to Erik.

So let's get our ideas flowing and help out Sondra.

Thanks ladies.

Food is love,

Hilary

Maverik Hudson Battes

What a week! Last Friday Erik and I went to the hospital and had a beautiful, healthy baby boy! Maverik was born 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and 19 inches long. Everything went very well up until the point that Maverik was delivered. He came out great, but about 20 minutes passed before the placenta was delivered. As it turns out, I had an inverted uterus attached to the placenta and had to be rushed to the OR. I lost so much blood that I also had a blood transfusion. Needless to say, it was a crazy and terrifying night. Erik was a wreck while I was in the OR because he didn't know what was going on. My doctor was amazing-she is retiring this week and in all her career had never experienced this problem. But she studied in school and remembered what to do. If she had not acted as fast as she did I don't think I'd be typing this right now. A couple days later, I had to go back to the ER for some fluids due to complications with the transfusion. Then a day after that Maverik was taken to the NICU in an ambulance where were stayed for about 36 hours. The first week of Maverik's life we were at a doctor or hospital every day.

All of this still has not hit me. I'm trying to write about it in hopes that I might be able to get in touch with the trauma I experienced. We are home now and Erik is back to work.

I never appreciated life, family, or prayer as much as I do now.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Chef Advice

My younger sister is 15, and with the big wide world in front of her and she's trying to make sense of things and chose a career path. She's a competitive gymnast and cheerleader with great grades. But what does she want to do? COOK. She has a opportunity to spend the last two years of high school going to her regular high school in the morning then heading over to "cooking school" where she would simultaneously earn high school and college credits. The program is wonderful; my other sister when through a similar program- only she went to "zoo school" at the Columbus Zoo. I think it's a great idea, but my chef husband, on the other hand, is going to try his best to stop her.

Does it seem a little odd that my husband discourages people from going into the same industry that puts food on our table? It has nothing to do with my sister either; he tells everyone to avoid professionally cooking. His argument is that the industry isn't what most people think it is. I agree. My sister watches cake decorating shows and enjoys cooking very much-but does she really know what cooking in a restaurant entails? She wants to open a cake bakery: "Coco's Cakes". Does she know the road to get there can be scary and painful? Can she handle day work weeks including holidays and late nights? Then again, how can she know unless she tries?

But who knows, maybe she is tough enough. Is it Erik's job to simply present the facts of the industry or should he throw in his two cents and influence my sister? After all, she's only 15 so I think that she should go into the cooking school program , and in the end if she decides its not for her then she will have at least learned some useful skills.

Do your husbands and boyfriends encourage or discourage youngsters from entering the world of all things food.

Food is Love,

Hilary

(Un)Necessary Kitchen Product?

I saw a kooky kitchen gadgets on Jay Leno the other night. What do you think about them?

This odd looking alien thing is an auto stirrer for sauces. The Autonomous Saucier keeps the liquid moving in the pan while you occupy yourself with other cooking tasks. No more burned sauces. The product hails from recent Olympic break up-Canada and costs $40. Three silicone rubber feet turn around and keep the sauce moving.

Would you buy it? I might, as a gag gift.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Sugary Drink Tax?

NY Governor Paterson and NYC Mayor Bloomberg are supporting a tax on soda and other sugary drinks. The proposal is support by major groups and unions and also being fought by many others.

Let's start with the facts:

How much will the tax be? a penny-per-ounce excise tax

-12 cents per can
-$1.44 per 12 pack

Which products will be taxed? non-diet sodas and other drinks containing large amounts of added sugar,

What's the point? an economic incentive for children, adolescents and adults to reduce consumption of sugared beverages and choose healthier, lower-calorie alternatives such as water, low-fat milk, and diet soda

What's the OTHER point? $450 million in revenue from the tax this year ($1 billion over a full fiscal year) will be dedicated to preventing deeper cuts to health care programs at a time when the state must close an $8.2 billion deficit.

I got all of this info from the NY State website. Support of the proposal also comes from The Alliance for a Healthier NY.

New Yorkers Against Unfair Taxes has put together a petition with over 13,500 signatures to date.

Why they're upset:
-this tax hurts the people who can least afford it-the middle and lower classes
- 6,000 union jobs in the beverage industry will be lost
(taken from their website)

How do I feel about the tax? Well-to be honest I'm not sure. I don't drink sugar soda, but I do buy juices and really it doesn't matter about me because it's not a tax on Hilary's grocery bill only. As a citizen I have the option to make a choice about things that affect all the citizens around me.

It doesn't impress me that supporting the proposal are major groups and unions. As a member of the teacher's union I've been clumped into a group that supports certain politicians and proposals that I never supported as an individual.

I am a huge believer that childhood obesity is a major problem in the US and we are only doing about 5% of what should actually be done. Will a tax on sugary drinks stop people from buying them? Some yes, but enough to make a difference? I doubt it. I see the way that parents of my students and the students spend their money in the inner city here in New Jersey. Will a 12 cent increase on soda or those gross sugar chubs stop teenagers at the corner store and sway them toward a bottle of water? Not in my experience.

Think about adults. When we go out to dinner, the cheapest beverage to order is a glass of tap water. That certainly doesn't stop us from ordering a soda (diet or not) that's been marked up way too much or worse than that a &15 glass of wine that the restaurant spend for two bottles of the same drink.

Is it the government's job to stop obesity in this way? Should they be dictating what we buy based on taxes? I do think the government has a tremendous amount of power that potentially (key word) can be used to help us. Consider what happened after smoking was banned from most bars and restaurants around the country. To me, it's become more taboo and less cool for people to smoke. So how can we make poor eating habits less cool? If the government can do that-we might be set.

Food is Love,

Hilary

Baby Shower

Although it may be taboo or poor etiquette or whatever-Erik and I threw our own baby shower this weekend. Erik was able to showcase his talents and made the most delicious food. One of the (often overlooked) benefits of being married to chef. He made 36 hour roasted pork shoulder sandwiches with pickled jalapenos, baked beans, 5 cheese macaroni and cheese, cob salad, jalapeno mashed potatoes, and an assortment of artisnal cheeses and fresh salsa.

We received so many fantastic gifts, I finally feel relieved about being prepared for Maverik to come. I mean I'm still scared of course-but I feel better now that my house is filled with all the necessities. I feel so loved!

Food is Love,

Hilary

Guest Blogger: Jill

My story, complaints, fights, and concerns sound exactly like each and everyone of your stories. My story/relationship I thought ended with my chef two months ago.

I met my chef late night at a club in Atlantic City almost two years ago (no surprise there when else would I meet a chef). We had instant chemistry and became exclusive immediately. The first few months was a whirlwind of great restaurants, late nights and awesome food. When I first met my chef he had Sundays off and then that changed 2 months later where he worked the entire weekend. Reality started to set in when our only time together was spent on a Wednesday night, his hours were taking a toll on me and on the weekends I was left without a boyfriend.
The "talks" began a few months after we were dating...with me asking.."when are you going to have time for me? If we ever have a family when are you going to be around? How can you not have a
401k? Why do you work 60 hours a week for crappy pay?"

I love my chef very much and he had this great dream of opening his own restaurant. Every dollar he made he saved for this restaurant, which means he lived at home! He is 28 and I am 27 I own my home so you can understand the frustration of having a 28 year old bf who still lives with his parents so he can save money. And so in the back of my head I was always thinking..what about me? What about us and our future?
So my dreams of our life together had to involve his dream as well. I love my chef so much and I really thought he was the man for me, but what came with the package was this career, lifestyle and passion that
I didn’t understand. I tried to immerse myself into the culinary world. I found the chef wives blogs, watched the cooking shows etc. Every time that I would think of marrying him and starting a family I saw myself alone. This caused a lot of anxiety and fear. Then I realized I life like that will not make me happy and that I didn't want to marry a man who only has 1 day a week for me and 6 days with his job. The hardest part during my relationship was excepting that that is OK to feel that way. There is nothing wrong with me because I cant except a life like that. I tried to convince myself so many woman can HAPPILY be with their chef bf's or husbands why cant I. I just realized that I'm just not built that way, some people they can except it but I couldn’t. It was only thru talking to my friend when she said to me, "I couldn’t do it I couldn’t marry a man that works like that", for me to finally feel validated with my feelings.

So the best thing to do was come to terms with the fact that this is not the life for me. We were really starting to resent each other he wanted me to accept him for who he was and what he did (rightfully so) but I also wasn't happy. And the best thing we did for each other was give one another up. We mutually decided to break up in December…Now the key here is I never asked my chef to stop being a chef (I secretly hoped and prayed he would for my own selfish reasons) but when you truly love someone you want them to be happy. To be selfless is truly loving someone.


As of this writing it has been 2 months since our break up and more changes have taken place during this time then in the last year and a half I've known my chef. My chef soon after him and I broke up started calling me all the time and said he wanted me back. Then he said he was doing a lot of thinking about what he wanted out of life and said he just wants a wife and kids and that's what truly makes him happy. Then he told me he bought his own place. After a year and a half of b*tching to get him to move out he buys his own place within a matter of 2 months of us breaking up! AND THEN he called me said I have something to tell you...he said he was getting out of the restaurant business and is going back to school full time for. Nursing! I'm thinking WTF! Now these aren't things he's just "saying" he legitimately has bought his own place and he has enrolled in college. So where am I right now…dumbfounded. So I am taking it slow, he of course wants to get back together. To imagine a life with my chef in another career and for him to give up his dream of opening a new restaurant is hard to wrap my arms around. But he has convinced me that the restaurant industry doesn’t truly make him happy and doesn’t love him back the way I do. I'm excited for this new adventure to see where it takes us.

Lessons I've Learned Dating a Chef

1. Be honest with yourself with what you really want and what you can handle.
2. His career will NOT get easier it will only get tougher
3. Don’t ask if he's working on NYE or Valentines day the answer is always yes
4. Being alone will not kill you.
5. Wanting the same things in life is key to a successful relationship
6. Chefs are married to their careers
7. I learned I'm not ok with being with someone who is married to their career
8. I never want to be second to anyone's career nor do I deserve it.
9. Don’t ask someone to give up their happiness for you (i.e. their career and passion)
10. Don’t ever give up your own happiness for someone else.

Pizza Makes Me Smile

For the second year in a row Motorino restaurant in NYC (Brooklyn & East Village) has donated to my school's annual auction. Although I've yet to meet Alyssa, the chef wife of chef owner Mathieu Palombino, she generously put together a basket of Italian goodies for me to pick up. This was the perfect opportunity to head over to Motorino to try their pizza which is getting some amazing reviews and awards. This includes Best New Artisan Pie (2009) Time Out New York and "Best Pizza Place on the East Coast" by Rachel Ray. Help me out Alyssa if you've any other trophies to share.

Well, not only was the pizza absolutely delish with the light and airy dough, but we couldn't stop eating. We came in for ONE PIE. We had the sopressata piccante but halfway through decided we just had to try the brussels sprout pie that everyone has been raving about. I'm so glad we went for the second pie! I was overstuffed in the end, but it was well worth the slight abdominal pain. Pizza makes me smile.

What really made me smile though was the note Alyssa left on her bag of auction goodies I was picking up.

"You don't want to be the guy keeping a pregnant woman from her pizza. TRUST ME." Beautifully worded my friend.

Food is Love,

Hilary