Has something ever just hit you? SMACK right in the brain you realize something and make a connection. A memory resurfaces that has been buried since Kindergarten. Some call it an "ah-ha" moment. Well, today I had one of those moments. Very enlightening, so I'd like to share.
I hate to admit it, but I pressure my chef. I'm always getting on his case about going to casting for food TV shows or telling him to chit chat more with the PPX dinners that come into Perry St. I've been begging him to do Iron Chef for years now. I don't know what it is-I guess I just want to promote my chef so everyone can see how fabulous he is. Maybe he'll schmooze with the right PX and end up writing a cook book or designing the menu for Leonardo DiCaprio's next birthday bash. You never know.
The "ah-ha" moment came today when my mom told me that my little sister was nominated for prom queen. WHAM! It almost knocked me out. When I was a senior in high school I nominated Erik for prom king. I can't believe I almost forgot about that. He totally wasn't into my pimping him then either; I think I may have even done it behind his back. In the end he never went on to the second interview that determined finalists. I'm sure he was so mad at me too. Damn, I've been promoting this guy since we were 18! What's up with that? Why do I do that? Please, someone, anyone, tell me that I'm not the only one. Maybe there is a false sense of need. I think he needs me to do all this stuff, but does he really? Everyone wants to be needed. If I make myself think he needs me to do whatever it is I think I do, then I feel like I'm contributing. I don't want to be left out of this exciting chef thing he's got going on. But I've got enough exciting teacher things going on so I'll lay off him for a while.
Some of us (Chefs) try to be humble with our talent and are afraid of some recognition on a large scale. Our fears are typical creative person fears, fear of rejection, scoffs from those who really don't get it and like in high school what the cool Chefs are going to say. Secretly however, we want someone to push us into the limelight, make things happen for us without us actually knowing about it.
Secretly set him up for auditions or morning show appearences. Take his videos from The Feedbag and transfer them to disc and send out to Food Network and various media outlets. Set him up with his own Blog that you write on with his videos and news releases; have one of his cooks covertly video him with a camera phone, for You Tube snippets, etc.
Not sure if JG is willing to let one his Chefs have some limelight, but if all else fails I still have a job for Erik here in Ohio.
Stop doing that!
Sure fire way to send a career into the shitter. Support each other but those tv shows dont do a damn to help your chef (disclaimer: ok so for a few its helped out)
Chefs get recognition the Smith Barney way..They Earn It!
Funny...same thing for teachers.
I agree, stop doing that! I think reality TV goes to people's heads in a really bad way.
Also, the thing about promoting our chefs is it makes us feel validated, as if we, the wives, are successful by association. It took me a long time to realize that rooting for his career was, in a way, neglecting my own. I put a lot of energy into supporting him, perhaps because I thought he was more likely to succeed. Well, now I think I'm just as likely to succeed, and I want my own career, just for myself. Refocus your attention and energy on yourself and what you want for your own career--not to say that you should stop supporting your chef, but definitely do not neglect yourself!
Whoa, there's no need for all those exclamation marks. I think I painted a picture of my chefwife life that wasn't quite accurate. Of course I push my chef to do things. And I do think food TV can be beneficial. Not Hell's Kitchen, Chopped, or Top Chef. I'm not stupid. Iron Chef is the only reputable show for chefs, in my opinion of course.
I think I spend a lot of time concentrating on my husband's career because it interests me. Luckily I'm successful in my own career which allows me to spend time with my husband. If I didn't care about his career this blog wouldn't be here.
I know, I know...so defensive.
I think it is completely understandable your feelings. We lead hard lives, yes I said it. No martyrs need apply but I can think of VERY few careers as demanding as that of a chef and one that works for JG well... having been on the sidelines during a LG (insert another frenchy's name here who was NYC,SF then NYC and now Chicago) I get it!
Some days I think I just wonder what the heck is it all for - they are not teaching blind people to see or curing ulcers ;-) but then I recall the first time I went to a tasting menu dinner and well the feeling that over came me and I think, nope they do one more - they create experiences...memories, moments.
hang in there sista'!
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