Speak Up

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Sex Drive...in Neutral?

A UK chef girlfriend just brought up a topic I've yet to look at. I'm so glad to be able to write about something fresh and new, even though it isn't exactly G- rated.

So this lovely lady from the United Kingdom says her chef comes home late at night (duh) and isn't interested in being intimate. He's tired and stressed.

Has anyone else come across this? I'm sure our UK friend would appreciate knowing she's not alone. But is she? I mean it makes sense that chefs would be too tired to do much of anything after work. Then again, a man turning down some special time, does that ever happen?

Food is Love,


Anonymous said...

My chef has been too tired for sex a few times. But really overall, he's not going to try anything after work because I would be too tired. And after two children, I don't have much umph left in me either. I just don't have the same libido as I used to. It's kind of sad, really.

JK from Colorado

DCWJes said...

It happens, more often than not in our house. Part, he opened a restaurant earlier this year, but stress and exhaustion have really taken its toll on our sex life.


Anonymous said...

its nice to hear that im not only person going through this atm would love to hear more feed back of people :) kc

Anonymous said...

our issue is, I work days he works nights. When he wants it im alseep and not wanting to wake up. When I want it...he is at work. When I'm up early in the morning he does not want to be woken up after working a 14-18 hour day
Not quite the same, but feel the pain!

Anonymous said...

My Chef and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. He's 28 and I'm 30; even being "young" we still struggle. Many times he's just too tired so it's definitely hard. I have faith that it'll happen eventually though. You're certainly not alone :)


Anonymous said...

I am lucky that my chef does "not work" in the weekend but from monday to friday. When it comes to the sexual life, this does not exist for 5 days, sometimes more, and it is how it is. I am mentally prepared for that. Sport has helped me a lot same as my work and friends, but when the free time is there: that is OUR time. I think its important to take 2 days in the month to just being together. stay at home, have a 24 hrs naked day, something that is different. I believe is not about the quantity is about how special it is when its there. Some "normal" couples do not have sex in weeks although they see each other every day, all turns to famlĂ­liar = I think THAT is sad. At least we can say that it is because of work and not because we are not crazy for our chefs, that we don't have sex so often.

Anonymous said...

When we used to work on the same schedule, it was a lot easier, but now I've finished school (and working FOH), and if I expect to get any, I basically have to catch him on his day off. Yup, once a week is all I've learned to expect.

Kirsten said...

I've got the same issue now. My Chef is so stressed out at work this week that we haven't had sex for about 6 days.He simply comes home, manages a couple of sentences about how busy his day was and passes out. I know this doesn't sound like very long but normally we have sex everyday or at least every other day. I wouldn't mind as much if I hadn't actually attempted to initiate sex last night and he turned me down.

On one hand I understand that after working a mentally and physically 16 hour day he simply doesn't have the energy. But on the other hand, a small insecure part of me thinks: shouldn't men always want sex, especially when its offered.

I'm hoping that once we manage to get a day off together I'll feel more connected to him. Because right now I feel incredibly distant.

WE love our chefs for so many reasons, but there are bound to be some harder times than others. I'm looking forward to the next 'special' time we have.

soph said...

I'm in a long distance relationship with a chef de partie for about two years now. Previously he used to make time for us to video chat but ever since he's joined a new restaurant, the hours has been longer and these days more often than not, he ends up falling asleep on me on the phone after coming back from his late shift. :(
- Soph from Singapore