I've found that women today, have a new taboo. It certainly isn't abortion, tampons, or breastfeeding. Oh no, we pride ourselves on being able to talk about all of those things. The new taboo, is dependence. You heard it ladies! So pick up the the latte you bought with your own income, because this is about to get real.
I've met a lot of women through this blog and most of them have serious issues with feeling neglected/unloved/not payed attention to/unappreciated/not cared about/ etcetera etcetera. And all of those women, including myself, make a point to say:
As if being a dependent woman is such a horrible thing. Many women today look down on their non-working sisters, and the distinction is drawn even clearer when we talk about working and non-working mothers. Something happened after the women's rights movement. We gained so much, but lost a bit too. After all, how can a person even be in a relationship if there isn't some dependence involved? If you don't depend on a person, aren't they just, a stranger?
Let me tell you, I depend on my husband for many, many things. And I'll be quite transparent and share a few here...yes this is just a small portion of things I count on my husband for.
1. To love me.
2. To supplement my income. I've been teaching for several years now and I make $50,000.
3. To lift heavy things when I'm pregnant. And sometimes when I'm not pregnant.
4. To support me in general, but particularly my job. (teachers get abused all the time)
5. To do his fair share to maintain our home, which includes raising our boys.
Dependence is not a sign of weakness. In fact, I believe it to be a sign of strength. It takes trust to depend on a person and it takes strength to trust a person. So if you feel angry that your chef forgot your birthday or left you waiting until 3am where he was, well, that's perfectly natural. you should be mad, you've been let down. I'm not saying we need to start baking apple pies and make martinis for our chefs when they get home. But I do think we need to acknowledge that we are not as independent as Beyonce wants us to be.
Food is Love,