Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Stuck in Resentment
For those of you with children you probably know that they multiply the struggles already associated with being married to a chef- or anyone who works more than 40 hours a week. I've been really suffering trying to balance a home, a child, and full time job that requires more time than I have. I have guilt when I drop my son off at the babysitter's. I have guilt when I have to explain my son's needs to my job. And I always have resentment towards Erik for not being able to share in the work.
That may seem like a bold statement, but I'm being direct and honest and I'm not telling you anything I haven't already told Erik. I've said it and read it a thousand times: having a child with a chef is like being a single mother. I've asked Erik to help more, but he only has so many hours in the day. No matter how many times we put our heads together and make new plans for dividing up the work- it never fails to fall to me. I carry the physical work as well as the emotional stress associated with a sick baby, child care, doctor visits, teething, etc. What's a woman to do?
How do you other mothers make it work? I'm unwilling to live in resentment. resentment that, in my experience, is in most marriages, not just those of over worked chefs.
Food is Love,