Speak Up

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Weight Watchers for [Chefs'] Wives?

Hi Ladies,
I got an interesting email from a reader a few weeks back. She has a dilemma regarding dieting and dating a chef....

"I am desperately trying to stick to a diet or weight loss plan. But dating a chef that is happy to make me meals, create amazing dinners, snacks, etc. is not helping at all. You see, before we started dating, I wasn't much of a cook. I'd typically skip dinners, or just have a small snack. Oh...and did I mention I also got 8 hours of sleep because I went to bed at 9:30! Now, not only do I find myself on his schedule which means late nights, early mornings, but I have put on 20 pounds and can't say no to his cooking.
I am hoping I am not alone with this challenge. If I don't stay up till 12:00 most nights, I would never see him. But this jeopardizes my sleep and health. This also means late night dinners. Dinners I never used to have. Calories I never used to eat. How on earth do I say no to his cooking and watch him eat dinner without me? Or go to bed without him every night?"

Now, don't hate me, but I don't think I've ever gained any weight because I'm married to a chef. I've have gained weight for other reasons: babies, mindless eating because I'm bored, holiday weight, etc. I definitely eat more when I'm with Erik because he always wants to try everything on the menu. I leave so many meals thinking, " I should have stopped eating a while ago". And I certainly do some late night snacking when he comes home around one in the morning. And although I don't really eat enough to gain weight from that, i probably should stop doing it. 

Any advice to help my pal Sunny here? Leave a comment below!

Sunny, I think you should stop eating late night dinners. If being with your chef late at night works well for you, great! But maybe skip the entrée and only eat an appetizer or the tiniest portion of the entrée. You could also ask your boyfriend to make healthier options if you really want to eat late night with him. 

Food is Love, 


Anonymous said...

I sadly was in the same boat. When my chef and I got together 5 years ago, I was 105lbs on a bad day (and worked my butt off to weigh that) and was in the gym everyday. In the start of our relationship we only saw each other between the hours of 2 and 6am due to his crazy schedule. Add me being a teacher to that, and suddenly my days at the gym were replaced by naps and my healthy eating habits became late night fast food runs so we could enjoy a meal together.

I put on much more than 20lbs and didn't even notice it. We both gained over 40lbs and it seemed to come
Out of nowhere. I am glad to say that I have finally reached a point of being so unhappy with myself that I had to make some changes. I am back at the gym most days after work. As much as it sucks, I don't wait up for my chef anymore...I just can't. The level of tiredness and crabbiness that I was exuding just wasn't worth it anymore.

Yes I usually wake up when he comes home and sometimes I stay awake, but most nights it's just for a kiss and an I love you.

As much as my chef makes me happy, I needed to make myself happy too. I had to find a happy medium. You need to do this too. 20 lbs is just the start of what will only get worse.

Lastly, make sure your chef is on board with your decision to be healthier. As long as he is aware of what you wish to accomplish, he can be your biggest support system by emotionally and food wise.

Good Luck!

Madawg said...

nice to find this blog --obviously a chef's SO am writing this at 1am. One thing I did that helped was I stopped drinking juice. Sounds dumb but it did help

Anonymous said...

Its such a nightmare waiting for them to arrive back home so late at night i use to go to bed at 9.30 or 10 before we moved intogether. i do wait up for mine because i like to see him or at least have a conversation even if its for just half an or an hour its worth it big tip il say is lay on sofa with tv on and have nap.and your awake as soon as he comes in so you dont feel soo tired like you are when your just awake waiting. time.flys by then too hope this helps your not alone!!

Anonymous said...

Also quick question hows everyones chefs this christmas stressed,doing terrible hours, completly shattered, not great company i cant wait for christmas day to come and for it to go back to normal how bout you ladies??

Donna said...

How interesting to read all of this. When my Chef and I both worked in restaurants, all was fine. We were both coming home at 1Am, eating and doing our normal/strange schedule. Once we had children, I never saw him or had a dinner with him. The kids and I went to bed by 9 and up at 6! I think it's awesome that your Chef comes home to be with you, since most expect you to be asleep, and will go out with other Chefs drinking. However, you have a "normal job" and have to be on a regular schedule in order to function.

SianMnaiS said...

I too had the problem with weight in the early years however fear not. The longer your chap is a chef and the further you progress in your career, combined with your children growing and needing more time/effort/money, will ensure that by the time you are 45 you will be wondering how it is that anyone married to chef actually manages to eat at all!

Unknown said...

I'm in the same boat!! Now i won't blame it all on him but I'm up 80lbs from when I met him. I've never been skinny and I look at his beer and gain 10lbs but 80 is for sure out of control excessive-- it's almost an Olsen twin! When we started dating I gave up soccer, sleep, the gym, healthy eating, etc.

I've been on a myriad of diets over the past 5 years almost always de-railed when we went to one of his friend's tasting menu restaurants or even just to a new restaurant around town where he wanted to order a bunch of stuff. Plus all the junk food in the house. Combined with my stress eating it's been a disaster.

Desperate times called for desperate measures! I started a diet called ideal protein. It's a low carb, low fat, low calorie ketogenic diet. Essentially 3 of my meals come from them and I cook one meal a night. There's also a bunch of supplements they give. It's been an adjustment for my chef but he's supportive and so far it's been good and I lost a decent amount of weight.

He recently got promoted to sous-chef and I had to go with his dad for a celebratory tasting menu. I gave my chef the guidelines for the "Protocol" and he made a 4 course tasting menu that was all in line with it....now that's love!

-J (Washington DC)

Anonymous said...

I was 9 stone when I met my chef - 14 stones in a pound so what ever that is, 126lbs? I am now over 100 lbs over that :( ok I can't blame him he doesn't stuff the food in my mouth and he's really supportive now I am trying to lose weight also loads of my family are big so been told by health care professional there's a genetic element plus am now in my 40s and 2 babies down but even so.