Speak Up

Monday, February 14, 2011

Here We Go Again

I never watched Sex in the City when it was on HBO. I was in high school passing notes to Erik and worrying about English essays- it just didn't apply to me then. But now I'm a YUPpie and new mom with a serious need to unwind and SITC has got me covered. I've been inspired with Carrie Bradshaw's smooth writing voice-I've GOT to get back on this blog! And what better day to rededicate myself a day we are all perusing the interwebs in our PJs anyways- Valentine's Day!

My inconsistent blogging was due to a lack of inspiration and not enough time to spare. But since I've finally  managed the working mother role I can spend more time writing.

Let's talk about a topic that comes up often for chefs' wives and girlfriends: Valentine's Day. Honestly, if it weren't for my friend Hilary offering to watch Maverik, Erik and I were going to ignore the holiday completely. We had a delicious lunch at Lupa on Sunday but now it's Valetine's Day and I'm sitting at home like any other Monday watching a commercial for none other than a Trojan Massager...nice.
PC: eatdrinkbetter.com

But the idea of lonely chefs's wives and girlfriends has been talked to death. Yeah, yeah, yeah we don't see our spouses on holidays and by now, many of us have either gotten used to it or just masked our pain. But what I want to know is HAS WORKING DURING THE HOLIDAYS CREATED JADED CHEFS? While we spend an extra ten minutes search the depths of our closet to find a red shirt or pink sweater, chefs all over the world are leaving for work ten minutes earlier to prepare for the holiday rush. The average person looks into a candle lit dining room on V-Day and sees pairs of lovely couples sharing a romantic evening. But a chef looks at the same dining room and sees deuces at tables waiting to be turned. There are no cupids and paper hearts on their mind. Right now every chef is praying they don't have to eighty six the Arctic Char.

Even if Valentine's Day was declared a legal holiday for chefs, would it make a difference or be to late to matter?

Food is Love,


Disappointed in MA said...


I was disappointed when I didn't see a Vday post yesterday morning...and so I was very excited when I saw the new post pop up on my blog feed this morning (especially after my awful night last night). My chef is currently unemployed, and has been since October- and it's hitting his ego pretty hard. However, since he had the day off yesterday, I figured I would actually enjoy a night with him, as valentines. I ran out and got him a rose and some foodie treats- some nice cheese, wine, and these "french kisses" - foie gras stuffed, armagnac soaked, dates.

What was the reply? "You got me a flower? Aren't I supposed to get you flowers?"---Let me add that he did not in fact get me flowers, or anything other than a card. I just got the "it's just another day" response.

I, pretty disappointed, was just out of it for the rest of the night and thus we spent it fighting and going back and forth.

Are all chefs like this? Have they been jaded because of their work on holidays? Or is it just his lack of conforming to a traditional girl's holiday? Do I have a valentines day present- less future?

Hilary Battes said...

Disappointed- NO you are NOT doomed for a life of presentless Valentine's Days. I've had a few upsetting holidays and have since realized that I have to be upfront right away about my expectations. This year we decided to keep the gifts simple yet thoughtful and under $10. It worked out perfectly. No one went above and beyond and thus ended up resentful for not having been treated the same. I think setting up a budget right away is helpful.

BUT- and this is a big one- I'm talking from the perspective of a married woman who's been with her chef since she was 14. It doesn't always feel romantic to talk numbers around Valentine's Day- especially with someone you don't share a bank account with. You probably envisioned your thoughtful gifts being met with smiles and kisses, and- a similar gift in return.

The romance is a little lost in the budget planning of gift giving, but at least no one ends up feeling resentful.

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